Pumping On Our Stereo

LCD Soundsystem — This Is Happening

Yaaaaaaaaawn. I'm James Murphy. I'm hella bored with dance punk. The kids want a new album. I don't want to make one. I want to quit the business. But I'll make one anyway because I just got offered a lot of money to play a festival. Yaaaaaaaaawn. Why didn't I pick another genre? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Nothing excites me anymore....
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Mass - Mass

OK, we get it: you guys thought it would be sidesplittingly hilarious to release an album of white noise just for the hell of it. Guess what? It was worth a chuckle for about five seconds before we wanted to smash your CD to bits with a sledgehammer.
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Living Days - Make Out Room

It's as if these guys sat down with a piece of paper, brainstormed a list of every '80s act they could mercilessly pillage from, and then went to work. This would make Brandon Flowers and The Rapture blush.
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Gayngs - Relayted

Friday afternoon slow jamz from a whittily named group. I'd pegged this one to be hipsterish indie rock and I'm glad to be wrong. I do feel like this should be on at 4:20, though...
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Broken Social Scene - Forgiveness Rock Record

This sounds exactly like we thought it would: like Broken Social Scene. But with keyboards.
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Plants And Animals - La La Land

This is what The Moody Blues would sound like after a boxercise class.
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She & Him — Volume Two

I want to hug this album — very tightly — with every part of me. It's the aural equivalent of a best friend.
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Brian Jonestown Massacre — Who Killed Sgt. Pepper?

This is one part shoegaze, one part post-punk and one part Mogwai. That equation should make it awesome, but unfortunately the idea is better than the result and the end product 100 per cent blows.
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Adam Green — Minor Love

Let's get two things straight, Adam Green: 1. You aren't funny. 2. Your music sucks.  Kimya's clearly had the better solo career.
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Dave Matthews Band & Tim Reynolds — Live In Las Vegas

Virtuosity is all very well. But when you're noodling for what seems like the sake of noodling, that's just fucking annoying.
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Lil Wayne — Rebirth

This is supposed to be a rock album? Most of this is basically Lil Wayne singing with too much Auto-Tune over top programmed beats and guitar that's not nearly loud enough. By these standards, you might as well say Kanye made a rock album with 808s & Heartbreak.
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All Time Low — MTV Unplugged

Remember when MTV Unplugged was a respectable TV show? Remember the days when someone like Katy Perry would never, in anyone's wildest dreams, have appeared on it? Oh well. At least now we know All Time Low's songs sound just as shitty on acoustic guitars as they do on electric ones.
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Youth In Revolt Soundtrack

This will probably lead to tons of indie kids discovering Jacques Dutronc and learning French, which are both good things. Unfortunately, this is like a watered-down version of the Juno soundtrack, which is sad because Youth In Revolt is anything but a boring, bland book.
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Surfer Blood — Astrocoast

This was a little bit Animal Collective and a little bit Vampire Weekend... and I shockingly kinda liked it.
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Vampire Weekend — Contra

Well, this was nothing short of crappy. Perhaps it'll put the nail in Vampire Weekend's overrated hipster coffin. I don't like being bescumbered, Vampire Weekend.
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Puddle Of Mudd — Songs In The Key Of Love & Hate Vol. 4

"I don't want to go to school today/I'll stay at home and masturbate." I don't think I needed that image, Wes Scantlin.
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Fall Out Boy — Believers Never Die: Greatest Hits

You know, that Michael Jackson cover was ear-bleedingly bad enough, but then they had to go and rip off Depeche Mode on "I Don't Care," which is the very next track on here. There is no justice in this world. Leave "Personal Jesus" alone, goddamnit.
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Acheron — The Final Conflict: Last Days Of God

You know that whole, "when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me" line? Turns out it's a load of bunk. I assumed this album was going to be angry when I looked at the cover because fuckin' Cerberus is on it, his eyes are flaming and it looks like he's clawing the eff out of everyone in Hades: Guess what? I was right....
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The New Enemy - Shakedown EP

Overheard in the office: "This guy sounds like Cartman when he screams."
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Lady GaGa - The Fame Monster

"Ra ra aah aah aah ahh roma ro ma ma ga ga ooh la la" Lyrics of the year?! Yes?! What exactly is a vertigo stick? Is it the same as a disco stick? As in phallic metaphor? Does it make you go "ga ga" and what the hell does it have to do with fashion?
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