Best Song Ever

CHARTattack think "Zombie Delight" is the Best Song Ever! So we spent almost 40 minutes talking to Buck 65 about his ode to the brain-eating undead.

CHARTattack: Where did the idea to write a song about zombies come from?
Buck 65: Well, I recorded that song and a bunch of material that's made up the bulk of the stuff that's been on these [20 Odd Years] EPs that I've been releasing for the last couple of months in Halifax last summer, and I don't remember exactly where along the process this happened, but a week or two into recording, Michael Jackson died. I guess, like everybody else, I found myself strangely affected by that. I remember just being in a really strange mood, and I just found myself thinking about Michael Jackson and his career a lot.

So, there was a song on the first EP [20 Odd Years, Vol. 1 - Avant] called "Superstars Don't Love," which talks about Michael Jackson a lot. So that was the first song, I guess, in this process that I've released that sort of alluded to, you know, Michael Jackson and him being in my thoughts at that time.

But then I just started thinking about the video for "Thriller," and I remember being really — I mean, I was a kid, I guess, at the time it came out — but I was really super into it, borderline obsessed, I guess. I remember watching some documentary thing with my sister all about the making of "Thriller" and I was just really super-fascinated with the whole thing, and so I guess in my song, the real giveaway is the line where I say, "One weird thing is that they're excellent dancers."

In fact, I think I'm hoping that it will bring that to mind for people, even if I don't say so directly. Where else are they going to have the image of dancing zombies, really, other than the "Thriller" video?

So, yeah, I think it probably came from there in a big way, and at the same time, I had already had the instrumental for the song, the piece of music. It was done first, and I was trying to figure out what the heck to do with it. I couldn't quite figure that out, and when I guess thoughts of zombies and Michael Jackson and "Thriller" popped into my head, and then I listened to that piece of music again, I thought, 'Oh, you know what? I think this could maybe work with this in a crazy sort of way,' and so I was off and running.



Do you watch a lot of zombie movies?
I have definitely seen my fair share. I was quite the junkie when I was younger, and my wife is pretty into them, and my wife and I we really went into a phase where we watched a whole bunch of them. We kind of got caught up with what's going on with zombie movies these days. So I know a few people that are better experts and more into it than I am. My agent in the U.K. is a really serious zombie movie junkie, which reminds me; I don't know if he's heard this song yet. I should send it to him right away. I'm sure he'll be excited, but... But yeah, I've seen a bunch.

So what's your favourite?
Well, you know, the funny thing is that sometimes it can be hard to distinguish one from the other, especially if it's a [George] Romero thing because the titles are all so similar to one another. But I remember when I was a kid, I was really into — oh, gosh, I'm never going to get the titles straight — it's the one... and it turns out it's only one, even though it became sort of a zombie cliche, but there's this one I remember with these — well, I remember there were a couple zombies in the movie that were almost punk rock zombies, and it was the one where the zombies say, "Brains!" It's something ...Of The Living Dead, I think, but what? Oh, God, I can't quite remember.

But whatever that one is, I can't quite figure out, but that's the one where they actually say, "brains." I think people assume zombies say, "brains" in all zombie movies, but I found myself thinking about it a couple of years ago and concluded that it's only in this one movie, actually, where you hear that.

I'm actually not positive that it's a Romero film. I think it might have been someone that's, you know, jumping on the bandwagon and made a zombie movie that was very much a Romero rip-off.

You know, I know a lot of people who got pretty excited a couple years ago about, [asks his wife in the background] what were they called, the zombie movies where they run fast? 28 Days Later, yeah. I know a lot of people are really into that, and I know a lot of people who've commented including my wife that the high speed zombies, there's something extra-scary about that. I guess I can sort of see the appeal, but I guess I'm just sort of old school with all my childhood zombie movie experience. I guess I expect them to be slow, and just have that classic look, that classic zombie. I can't believe I'm having this conversation!

The whole arms out, walking really slowly, kind of not bending their knees and going, "Uggggggghhhhhhhh!"
[Laughing] Totally, that's my style of zombie, right there.

And when I went through that phase with my wife a couple of years ago, I got into really some more obscure, more underground, low budget zombie movies.

I remember there being another one that predated that one that Romero made a couple years ago, I think that he shot in Toronto. I think he used a bunch of Canadian actors that was sort of documentary style. [He's referring to Romero's Survival Of The Dead, which was shot in Toronto and Port Dover, Ont. with a Canadian cast and crew.]

And there was another one like that from a few years before, and I think it might have been British. I wish I could remember the titles better, but I remember thinking that one was pretty good.

But like I said, although I've seen a whole bunch, I wouldn't necessarily call myself an expert. Maybe that's kinda obvious now.

The punk rock one — is that The Return Of The Living Dead?
You know that, I think it is. I think that's exactly right. I can picture the cover, or at least the cover I remember seeing when I was a kid, and on the artwork for the cover you see like a zombie with a mohawk or something like that.

Yeah! That's it. We solved it. We solved the mystery.
Although I can't stop myself — wait, what did you say it was? The Return Of The Living Dead?

Yeah. I think it's Dan O'Bannon who did it.
Yeah, I'm searching for it right now. I feel like I need to. That's the one! That's totally the one! With the mohawk zombie on the front and like I said, I'm almost positive that's the one where they say, "brains." I can picture an exact image of this particular zombie saying it. I remember watching it at my friend's birthday party when I was a kid.

What would be, for you, the best way to dispense with a zombie? If one was running at you 28 Days Later-style, or if one was walking towards you with its arms out, what would be the best way to get rid of one? What would you do?
Well, there's a part of me that, even when I'm performing the song I almost flinch a little because I feel like it's the most violent thing I've ever said, but there's a line in the song where I say, "Shoot 'em in the head! It's the zombie apocalypse."

You know, the wisdom seems to be in this one and seems to go across several zombie movies that that's the only way. A very strong blow to the head with a gunshot being the most effective. There's that. I don't have a gun. I guess I imagine if and when the zombie apocalypse comes, I would try and find one as fast as I could.

But then there's the line where I say, "Hey, batter, hit 'em in the head and they may splatter." The idea is you could maybe use a baseball bat as well, and having a bit of a baseball background myself and having a couple of bats here in the house, I guess I've had strange fantasies of that being my personal course of action.

Have you seen Shaun Of The Dead?
Yes. That was a good one. I waited a while to see it. I don't know why because it had a lot of hype around it at the time.

I think I maybe know what you're thinking. The scene where one of the guys gets the zombie with the record?

Yeah, and there's something in there with a cricket bat, too. But the records is a pretty great scene.
That's pretty good and works for me as a DJ. That's kind of a nice fantasy. Well, I can't believe I'm saying that, but yeah, I mean, you know, it kind of works for me that a couple methods that I've seen in films before fit in nicely with my lifestyle: the baseball thing or the DJ approach.

So, you know, I feel like I'm fairly well equipped for those methods with what I've got here in my house with there being about 40,000 records here in my house. That's a lot of ammunition against a whole lot of zombies.

You know, I remember seeing that scene and having this weird thought process one day, just imagining zombies entering my house and then, you know, using records like that to try and get them, but then thinking, "Oh, my God! I can't use this record!" But that sort of happened in the movie, too. Didn't the guy just sort of hesitate, like, "No, I can't possibly part with this record"? I'd probably have the same dilemma, like, pulling out a record I paid $250 for and thinking, "Oh, God, I can't, you know, I can't get blood all over it or risk breaking it..." It'd be a bit of a dilemma. I'm sure there'd just be a moment or flinch where I would think twice for just a second and then I would probably realize, "Oh, yeah. I might get killed, so..."

You know, that was actually going to be my next question. I was going to ask you how you'd react if you picked up a record and flinched thinking you didn't want to throw it, just like the character in Shaun Of The Dead.
Do you remember what record that was that he pulled out and was like, "Oh, no, I can't throw this one?"

Purple Rain. Sign 'O' The Times.
Oh, yeah. Well those aren't rare. You would be able to replace them really easily.

They throw a Batman soundtrack, and they throw a Dire Straits record. There's a Stone Roses record, and Sade. That's his girlfriend's, and then the other character says, "Yeah, but she dumped you," so they end up throwing that one.
Right, right. That's pretty awesome. That's a great scene. In my back room of my house, I have records that are sort of on the floor that I think I've just sort of relegated to — you know, without it ever gaining official status as a crap pile. So if they were entering from the rear of my house, I'd probably be in luck there, 'cause it's a bunch of records I don't really care about. There's a huge pile of records that I just sort of found once and they're just records that I don't really care about.

Then, most of my most valuable ones aren't really easy to access; like I've got them locked away in boxes, so they're probably the ones I would get to last anyway. And then most of the ones that I have on my shelves in my house here kind of fall somewhere in the middle. So some of them would be hard, like Joy Division records and stuff like that would be difficult. There's this Lee Hazlewood record on my shelf in my living room, and that's the one I paid $250 for. It's really rare. I have a feeling that if I pulled it out I'd be like, "No, take whatever's next to it just in case I survive this thing. I'm not going to want to lose that Lee Hazlewood."

If you could be a zombie, what type of zombie would you want to be? Would you want to be a fast zombie or a slow one?
Well, you know, I hate to go back on what I was saying earlier, but it seems like in those old movies, those slow ones often get mowed down in big numbers all at once. With the faster ones that you see in the later movies, it seems like people are lucky if they can get one. It seems like your chances are lasting a bit longer are probably better if you're fast, I suppose, but strangely I feel that pull back again towards the classic old school style.

It sort of happened naturally, but as I've been performing the song lately there has been a bit of a zombie dance that has sort of developed. So me dancing as a zombie and I suppose playing a bit of a role of a zombie myself, it has taken on that classic posture. So I guess I've already indulged that fantasy a bit, and it was kind of old school and more slow moving, I guess. So based on actually experience, I would say old and slow.

Well, that ties in with the "Thriller" thing, too, right?
Well, exactly. They were all pretty slow moving. Though some of the parts of that dance routine they seem like they're moving pretty well. But at the beginning of that video as well, where they're coming out of the ground, they all seem like they're pretty slow moving, classic zombie style.

Are there any living people around that you think are kind of zombie-esque or who are kind of like zombies?
Well, kind of on the flip side of the coin of that, last week was the — I forget if it was the birth date or the anniversary of the death of Bela Lugosi [it was the anniversary of his death] — and I remember stopping and thinking about that and it was like, you know, he always played kind of undead in movies 'cause he's famous for playing Dracula. Then, of course, he died infamously during the middle of the filming of Plan 9 From Outer Space, the Ed Wood film.

So I remember thinking, "You know, there's no way Bela Lugosi actually died because he never really seemed like he was alive in the first place." So it's hard for me to imagine that he died. That doesn't even really make sense to me, so there's a part of me that believes Bela Lugosi is still out there and walking around with his arms out in front of him, zombie-like, like those images I have of him from Ed Wood movies and stuff. So if we can consider Bela Lugosi still a living person, then I would offer his name up. But let me think...

Sometimes I feel a bit that way myself, if I can add myself, with all these old injuries. I'm in physiotherapy right now for about three or four ailments, and on different days if I wake up and they're all bothering me at once I feel a bit dead but still walking around, so there's that.

Beyond that, let me think. I guess the first idea that pops into my head is, you know, who's someone that almost seems dead or who's maybe, like, old and decrepit but still going somehow? I'm trying to think about it. It's funny how you hear those questions pop up sometimes or those ideas where people assume that someone who used to be in the public eye is still alive, and its really embarrassing, you know?

Like with Abe Vigoda how everyone thought he was dead, and everyone always thinks he's dead, but he's not.
Exactly! And admittedly, even when you first asked that question a picture of his face kind of flashed in my mind a little bit, but then I didn't want to say it! There's a reference that'll get the kids excited.

So is there anything else you wanted to add before we wrap this up?
The song had its real genesis in a kind of interesting way. I was walking down the street one day and I ran into Afie Jurvanen from Bahamas, and we just started chatting, and he was telling me about how he just had a whole bunch of guitar parts that he had come up with this certain project or whatever that didn't end up working out, and so he said, "You know, if you ever need any hot licks," or whatever — which I don't know if he said it exactly like that, but he may have, like in the way Afie talks, you know.

So I said, "Yeah, I'd love it," because this was going back to before I started working on all this material and I was gathering ideas.

So he came over to my house one day a few days after that with his guitar and then just a little pig-nosed amp, a little tiny thing, and we just went into the back room of my house and I just plugged in a shitty little 68 mic, and he just started playing these really weird, almost like, funk licks. We just recorded them in the most, like, lo-fi way imaginable. It was one of those licks.

We never did re-record it; it's just like that really basic thing from the back of my house that became the foundation of "Zombie Delight." So that main lick that the song starts with started with him, and the song probably never would have been what it is now without him planting the seeds of it. Of course, you know, I want to be giving Afie credit for the song sounding like it does 'cause it's pretty awesome, I think.

The other big musical aspect of the song that I'm really proud of is that the drums in the song — and maybe this is too technical for anyone to really care about — but it's not a live drummer. It's just the most insane, extensive drum chopping and programming that I've ever done, including the solo, and I think it's the only song that I've ever done that has a drum solo in it, like this little breakdown part with this crazy drum solo part.

That just came from chopping up — I mean micro chopping up — drum parts for like, two days, and coming up with that whole thing, which I was really super-excited about with just how it sounded in the end.

I guess the other thing, as well, is that I was thinking about a chorus for the song, and I already had this lick from Afie [sings it], and then just as a working thing, I remember one day when I was demoing the song and I knew at that point when it was going to be about zombies, I just wanted to like, as a placeholder, just basically plug in words at random just to mark where the chorus would be.

So, not really thinking and just being a total goofball in the studio and just making things up off the top of my head, even though it makes no sense at all, I just said, "Zombie delight, zombie delight, zombies are coming to get you tonight." Like, "zombie delight," it doesn't make any sense at all, but it was so absurd and it made me laugh enough at the time that I thought, "What the hell, I'm just going to keep it like that."

That was never the intention. I thought I'd write a better chorus later. I just completely made it up off the top of my head as the tape was rolling, basically, and then just decided to keep it in the end because it was absurd enough, and then we decided to put vocoder on it — for again, whatever esoteric reason, not that it makes any kind of sense. But there were a lot of laughs had, suffice to say, as that song was coming together in the studio.

We've decided that "HSGAS" — short for high school girls are sluts — by Gravity Wave, is the best song ever.

So we talked to Gravity Wave's Kenneth Farrell about it.

CHARTattack: How do you feel about having the best song ever?
Kenneth Farrell: I think maybe you should consider a substance abuse treatment program. How did you even hear it? It's the last track on a record nobody wants to listen to. Did you suffer temporary paralysis after putting it on? And even if you did listen to the song, best song ever? Perhaps a little more transparency in the nomination and selection process could help you avoid such an embarrassing miscalculation in the future.

So, did you have a bad experience in high school? Why the slut hate?
Do you have any idea what it's like to be a 17-year-old with a girlfriend and raging hormones? I tried so hard to be faithful, but the constant parade of young ladies of low virtue and loose morals made it nigh impossible. They would lie to me, promise to date me, feed me booze, dance up against me, anything to break down my steely resolve to be true. I hurt some very beautiful, honest and loving high school sweethearts because of the temptations offered to me, and I have lived to regret it. They've since forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself. I suffer to this day.

Can you define a slut?
The word reminds of girls like my then-girlfriend's then-friend who asked for a ride home in my truck and offered to blow me as a way of saying thanks. Or, the girl who face-raped me by trying to French kiss me while I was passed out face down on the carpet after my first experience with vodka. Or, the girl that sent me pictures of herself in nothing but a T-shirt she stole from my gym locker.

All of these girls I opened my heart to, and they broke me, man, they broke me. As soon as they got what they wanted, they ran. No eating popcorn and watching movies. No sitting beside each other in the library and working on trigonometry. No existential walks in the woods. I wouldn't hear from them until they wanted more sex.

What about post-high school? Are they still sluts? Or is there a post-slut transformation?
After high school I gave up on love for a while. I declared celibacy and studied mathematics. I wanted to be an actuary. I'm sure people were still manipulating each other for sex, but I focused primarily on a more accurate way to determine when they would die based on quantifiable risk factors.

Incidentally, I discovered that the secret to longevity was promiscuity. I quit school halfway through writing my thesis, and then converted to the church of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. The next few years, my own personal "slut phase," are a bit of a blur.

You seem to alternate between insulting and sentimental with the line "All I'm saying is, won't you be mine?" Do I sense a bit of jealousy? A slut-crush of some sort?
I wrote this song for my fiancee. In asking her to be mine, I wanted to reassure her that my on-again-off-again relationship with sluts had finally run its course. This song was a cathartic way for me to renounce sluthood.

What's wrong with ordering random pizzas?
Maybe I chose a bad metaphor here. Contrary to what you might want to believe with all this "best-song-ever" stuff, I'm not much of a songwriter. I meant to extol the merits of carefully selecting what you put in your body.

I mean, we've all been in those situations where, like, you're lonely, and you want some companionship and you pull out your phone, and the smorgasbord of sluts in your address book reminds you of a United Colours Of Benetton ad, and you think "Hey, maybe pineapple, anchovies and broccoli all at once," but when it's all said and done, your tongue is exhausted and you're not even sure where it's been or what flavour is what and you remember, "Oh, yeah. The girl next door likes pepperoni and cheese and respects you in the morning."

You sing that you have to be at every function or she'll leave you. Have you considered telling her how you feel? You know, communication is key in a relationship.
Clearly, by this point in the interview, you should begin to grasp my inability to clear open the lines of honest communication.

The female background vocals on the last few choruses seem to be a bit ebullient? Could the song be considered a celebration of sluthood?
I should have fired that girl as soon as she showed up at the studio. If I'd had more money or time, I would have retracked those. I don't think she gets it at all.

Have you thought about the consequences of the song? What if girls hear it and stop being slutty? Did you ever think about the rest of us?
I once imagined there was no heaven, it was easy once I tried, and then heaven ceased to exist. So your fears are legitimate, but ultimately unfounded, because shortly after destroying paradise, I met this sweet old lady who told me that love comes first. Do you know what that was worth? She made heaven a place on earth.

I guess what I'm saying is that sluts are like virtual particles fluctuating in a vacuum: they appear and disappear, only exist as a pair (or in special cases, in combination with multiple complimentary objects), and are the basis upon which the world as we know it is constructed.

What pickup lines would you say work best on sluts?
I only ever use pick up lines I learned from Beavis And Butt-Head. For best results, try "I see you wear pants. I too wear pants." I should note, this works best on a slut in pants, which is admittedly rare, given how much more likely it is to find a slut with pants already in the off position.

Who would you consider the archetypal slut?
The archetypal slut is the band known as Gravity Wave, whose debut CD on Fuzzy Logic Recordings, Gambol, is available pretty much nowhere, has been critically panned, and can be used as a coaster.

Ninety-eight per cent of all copies in existence will collect dust in my garage until my grandkids find them and wonder "What are these weird shiny circles in cardboard?" Unless, by then, the kids don't even know what cardboard is, which is likely.

Go science! Go progress! Buy your copy now! Go sluts!

Fuzzy Logic Recordings has kindly provided a free download of the song "HSGAS," which you can get here.

We've decided that "Good Times" by Jesse Matheson is the Best Song Ever!

So we talked to Matheson about his awesome tune.

CHARTattack: Can you tell me a little bit about how you wrote "Good Times"?
Jesse Matheson: I think the genesis is just trying to be an optimist and looking on the bright side of things and not being a negative nilly or ninny or whatever that term is.

A lot of the things in this song you could get really negative about, it seems like some of them more than others.
Yeah, glass half full or half empty. Goes back to being an optimist, I guess.

Indeed. Do you mind if we just go through the song and talk about some of the lyrics?
Sure. It's a little personal, but... sure.

So, did any of this stuff happen to you or anyone you know?
Yes, it did.

So did anyone ever give you the first full season of Felicity on DVD?
In fact, I did get the first full season of Felicity and Moonlighting. It was a tossup between the two to go in the song, but I think Felicity's a little more relevant these days than Moonlighting.

Um, someone actually threw up on you while you were making out with them?
Well, no, they didn't throw up on me...

They threw up and you kept making out?
(Laughing) Well... yes. Things were happening, progressing and we were young and excited and she said she wasn't feeling too well and she left the room, and then she came back into the room.

I said, "Are you OK? Did something happen?" and she was like, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just threw up, but... it's OK!"

She brushed her teeth. That's what part I left out of the song.

I played a festival a few years ago and that old girlfriend, she came to the festival, and her and I hadn't spoken in years and years, and when I was getting ready for that, y'know, that lyric, that line in the song, man, I was so excited that she was sitting there in the crowd. Right when I got to it, somebody tapped her on the shoulder and started chatting with her and it broke my heart! I don't think she's aware that it's been immortalized, our little puke story.

So is this song all about the same woman, or...?
(Laughing) I wouldn't say all about necessarily the same woman, no.

Leaving you in the room when the phone rang... that's like something out of Seinfeld, you know, when George gets his wallet stolen by the woman who takes him back to her apartment?
Yeah, when she steals his pants?

Yeah, I don't know what to say.
I'd say from here on, quite a bit is exaggerated. Thank goodness I didn't catch anybody in bed with a hobo.

The whole bris thing, is that exaggerated as well?
I dated a Jewish girl for a while, and that was always the conversation about the possibility of, you know, leading towards her denomination and it always would have been a hilarious thing if at the end of everything she had been like, "Haaaa! Psyche!" But, yeah, phew!

Tony Danza. Are you a Tony Danza fan, or...?
I find joy in Tony Danza.

Who's The Boss? more than anything else?
It's the big question in life: who IS the boss? Tony Danza's kind of one of the first people to bring that out into the popular mainstream. But I also think it's hilarious that Tony, every single show he's been on, his name's been Tony.

It's very hilarious. It's like he can't do any other role.
I know, it's like, "My name's Tony and I used to be a professional boxer," in Taxi. "My name's Tony, I used to be a professional baseball player" in Who's The Boss? and I think he had a couple other sitcoms where he was Tony.

So, no one's ever opened a crystal meth lab in your basement?
No, but I had a friend in Alabama who that happened to.

Really?
Yeah, the funny thing was the place was right across the street from the courthouse in a small town called Fayette, Alabama.

Were they caught?
They did get caught, but it was pretty dubious to be, you know, running a crystal meth lab right across across the street from a courthouse.

Yeah, that's very bold. So when you wrote this, what were you hoping to inspire in people who heard it?
Well, I think everybody kind of has their relationships that when you look back on it, part of you says, "Man, I love that person and I miss that person and things were so great." But then when you say what you thought was so great out loud, sometimes it's pretty horrific and awful and they were pretty toxic relationships.

I think everybody can relate to that one. You know, just having nostalgia for awful times. I do. That puke story, I still think that's very sweet and there's something kind of, I won't say naive, but we were young and enthusiastic, and we weren't going to let a little thing like that get in the way.

So, what did you do with that first season of Felicity? Do you still have it? Did you give it so someone?
I haven't done anything with it yet. It's on my to do list. It's not very high up there on my to do list, but...

Do you have any messages for anyone who's kind of down on their luck or going through a bad breakup, that kind of thing?
I think it's really simple: just think about the good times. There's always a silver lining, but sometimes the silver lining is that you are away from that person now. I think that's kind of the big message.

Jesse Matheson has kindly provided us with a free download of "Good Times," which you can get by clicking here.

We've decided that "Robots" by Dan Mangan is the Best Song Ever!

So we talked to Mangan all about his awesome tune.

CHARTattack: Tell me about the genesis of "Robots." How and when did it start to take shape?
Dan Mangan: It was late 2006. I was living in my basement suite at the time — this little cave. I'd been listening to a lot of The Beatles.

"Robots" turned out to have an alt.folk kind of vibe, but initially I had envisioned it as really clunky — kind of White Album-esque. I think I was feeling quite influenced by the White Album.

I was thinking about my complete allegiance and attachment to my computer and how that was driving me nuts. I think that, maybe that day, I'd awakened and not really stepped outside — spent the whole day on my computer — and I was in this natural lightless basement. It's where those lines, "Oh I don't know what you've been told/But I don't get out much these days," came from.

It was a feeling of isolation and hibernation, but not in the good, regenerative sense, so much as in the depressing, mongering sense.

I'm assuming there's a heavy dose of metaphor involved here; who is the robot in this song?
The people who you deal with in your life who are seemingly acting completely on function. They're not partaking in any kind of spirit whatsoever. They're just kind of going about the things that they think they're supposed to be doing in life and not treating people very well.

It was occurring to me that the people who are seemingly the most robotic probably need the most love. They're the ones that require the most repair. Your initial reaction to someone who is quite cold is, "Screw you," but in actuality, they probably need the most cajoling back to life.

Would you say this song is one of the main reasons that you've attained the level of notoriety that you have?
I think it certainly helps. I remember thinking to myself, after putting the pen down on the outro ["Robots need love too/They want to be loved by you"], that it was likely the most catchy melody or bit of lyrics that I'd ever come up with...

Fortunately, it's resonated with some people, and that's amazing. It's annoyingly catchy — to the point where it sticks in people's heads and they might rue you later on. But I certainly think it's been a big part of all of the amazing things that I've been able to do since the record [Nice, Nice, Very Nice] came out.

It's funny when this happens. This song that you wrote — nobody else did — starts circulating, and it's on the airwaves, and you feel like you don't really own it any more. Like it's been processed out of you and it's been floating around... I can't say I feel a whole lot of personal attachment to it. It's pretty easy for me to let it go and be.

Why do you think people connect with it?
I guess it's the mixture of silliness or catchiness with a fairly serious metaphor. It's catchy and boppy and kids can sing along with it, but at the same time, I was writing the lyrics with a fair amount of seriousness as well. In a sense, it's almost a dark song, lyrically.

I think everyone experiences a song a little differently and it's hard to really elaborate on why someone would enjoy something you made.

Would you — or have you ever, since you recorded it — consider doing a concert without playing "Robots?"
I've done a lot of little, special shows... that were quite short, and I've certainly not played it at those. It's not the first song I go to. It's the kind of song that requires a crowd to help sing the ending, so if I'm at a college station and it's just me and a guy on the other side of the booth, it's not something I'd jump to play.

But when it comes to a full, headlining concert, I'd hazard to guess that it's been played at every concert I've done since the record came out.

Do you think that if you didn't play it at a headlining show, you'd get pelted by beer bottles?
I think that some people would be sour. It's tough; you never want to let one or two songs define you. You hope that you've got more inside of you.

People come to expect it, and I think that my peers — people I play gigs with — are like, "Oh, of course he's going to do that song." I get a lot of ribbing when it comes to ["Robots"], but I'll keep playing it for the time being, for sure.

Let's talk about robots in general. Do you have a favourite robot, real or fictional?
I don't think I do. Since the song has been circulating, I've received a number of robot-related gifts, but I wouldn't say I'm someone that's really all that into robots. I've never been a tech-savvy guy. Some people are really into Star Wars, but that's never really been me either.

R2D2 is pretty cool, though. The thing I liked about him is strength in silence. He wasn't saying much but he knew what he meant.

Do you think Astro Boy's family could ever truly love him like a real boy, or will there always be some unspoken distance because he's made of metal?
I was just having a conversation about a documentary where three Inuit children are put in [the home of] an upper class white family, back in the '60s, as an experiment — planting them in a completely different culture...

Could Astro Boy ever be loved like a real human? I guess that come down to the argument over whether robots can have feelings or whether it's just simulated feelings.

The thing that bothers me is the chemical aspect , or the biological aspect of emotion. When I'm feeling happy, am I feeling happy because certain happy chemicals are going through my veins, or are those chemicals going through my veins because I'm happy?

Do you think that one day humans will create a robot that's indistinguishable from a real person?
I'd be amazed if they hadn't already. I think we're well on our way. Think about the technological advances in my lifetime — 27 years. I remember rotary phones. Compare those to the device I have to my ear at this moment. There's more power in this cell phone than there were in 10 warehouses of computers back in the '70s or '80s...

I think we're on the verge of some very interesting artificial intelligence. I think we're going to get there eventually. It's going to be a melding of technology and humans. Whether it's going to be a physical thing, like having metal humans, I don't know.

Do you ever worry that some day, if we invent a smart enough robot, it and its kind might try to take over the planet, like in Terminator?
Yeah, sure, that kind of thing keeps me up at night. We did invent the atom bomb.

Will robots try to take over the planet? No. But will we design robots that people can use to take over the planet? Yes. I think we're going to be our own demise. It doesn't really seem like an if, but a when, to me.

Dan Mangan has kindly provided a free download of "Robots," which you can get by clicking here.

We've decided that "Alexander Ovechkin" by Tim Fletcher of The Stills is the Best Song Ever!

So we talked to Fletcher all about his awesome tune.

CHARTattack: First of all, for anyone who doesn't know, who is Alexander Ovechkin?
Alexander Ovechkin is a Russian hockey player from Moscow who began playing in the National Hockey League in 2005-2006 and since then has proven himself to be, in my mind, not just the greatest hockey player to play the game, but the greatest athlete of all time.

The greatest athlete of all time?
In my heart. I mean, the stats may say what the stats may say, and people might choose to take a more rational approach to this, but in the church of my heart this guy Ovechkin is truly the greatest athlete of all time.

So, you feel he's more passionate, more distilled athletic perfection than, say, Mike Tyson in his peak, or Michael Jordan, or Tiger Woods?
Yeah, absolutely. I'm a musician. And I chose to play music because it's an amazing, life-affirming thing to be able to do. I chose that over sports because it's a lot more satisfying and a lot more fun. And there's a lot about the sports world that I find very limited in terms of reflection, there's a lot of limited dialogue going on out there.

But this guy Ovechkin comes in there with nothing but fun and passion and total disregard for tradition. He just wants to have fun and score goals. I can't really think of any other person in sports that is grabbing life by the balls and having the most fun with it. And that to me, well, you live once and he's doing it right.

And why did you write a song about him?
About a year ago Olivier [Corbeil, bass] in the band had gone to Cuba for a couple weeks and I got all my recording gear and I just set up in Olivier's fifth floor apartment overlooking the city and I just started writing tunes and recording anything.

And the day before Olivier came back I caught a Washington Capitals game on TV and The Glory was fucking intense. He had a hat trick and was smashing everyone and just jumping all over the place and the whole building was going crazy... and I couldn't stop thinking about how glorious it was and how inspiring and awesome it was. And I was just like, "I'm going to write a song about it," fuck it.

So you wrote the song a year ago and it's just reaching the outside world now?
Yeah. Because a year ago I wrote it for fun and I put it on YouTube with a picture. It was a joke. A fun thing to do. I couldn't really think of where else it could go. And then lo-and-behold, these days it's starting to pick up.

It's true. Now, how do you come up with a lyric like, "Ride like eagle to glorious?"
I watch Ovechkin play and I channel the spirit. I can't explain where a lyric like that comes from. It's from on high.

Did you do this by yourself or did you have help?
I was alone. Completely alone and I was feeling really inspired. And there are other verses. Stuff about decimating your crops and spreading his seed. And, like a spectre across the land. And how we all must bow and accept. That's not included in this version.

So there's a version of the song that's "Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald" in length?
Well, the true version only exists in my mind. This is the shortened three-verse pop version. But I picture each verse modulating up a tone so each verse becomes more and more intense and each verse a new element comes in with the Moscow Symphony Orchestra coming by verse three bringing in the strings, bringing the horns, bringing the Moscow Men's Opera so that we're all singing along... until it's just unbearable.

Now, you compare him to a giant horse in the song — "ride his skate like a giant horse." Top NHLers can reach 27 miles per hour, while top thoroughbreds can reach 40 miles-per-hour. So are you taking artistic liberty or do you feel there are moments where Ovechkin could actually skate 40 miles-per-hour?
I think we've yet to see his full potential on a skate. In that lyric, I'm referring to his taming the beast, the wild horse. A lot NHL players are not able to tame the horse-skate in the same way that Ovechin has been able to. And if you watch him, he's explosive and he bounds all over the ice and he's just got total control.

And he also whinnies after he bodychecks someone.
He gallops, he slams people, he whinnies, and you might even see a little flame coming out of his nostrils.

The Montreal Canadiens are right in the middle of a playoff series against the Washington Capitals. Being a Montrealer, what do Montrealers think of Ovechkin right now?
When you watch the game, every time he touches the puck they boo him really loudly and with great distain. But I have to say, growing up in Montreal and having lived in this great city [supporting the Canadiens] is sort of compared to growing up in New York with the Yankees; I think I've sort of irked a lot of people.

In any other situation, I'd be like, "Go Habs Go!" But I'm going for the Capitals. I'm going for Ovechkin. Sorry.

Aren't you scared that's going to get you in trouble at the bar when they see your face?
The song hasn't reached that level of infamy in the Montreal Canadiens daily journal — which I'm sure exists. They haven't put a picture of my face next to a story about the song. So I think I'm safe... for now.

Did you know he lists his favourite musician as 50 Cent?
He is human. So we can permit him his transgressions, I suppose.

He also likes "rap, R&B, and techno."
I guess that's a bit of his hardcore "young Russian" vibe coming through.

Do you think the sound of the song might be too traditional for him?
Well, I think the song is a bit more Ukrainian in vibe. It's got more of a Cossack march to it. So it might be a little geographically off the mark, but it's that region of the world.

What do you think Alexander's reaction would be if he heard it?
The thing is, we actually met him six or seven months ago at a party and we were chatting with him and I was like, "Hey dude, I wrote a song about you." And he was like,  "Oh, yeah! That's unbelievable! You should send it to me."

And I never ended up sending it to him because a) I didn't really know how to, but at the same time I was sort of like, I don't know if it's a little bit offensive in a Borat way, so I was like, "If we send it to him I've got to tweak the lyrics." I don't want to offend him. It's not meant that way.

So you'd create a personal version for him that would increase the awesome.
Exactly. I don't think that song could exist without the Russian accent or the poor English filled with glory, but I think he'd get the full-on version.

What are some of your favourite Alexander moments?
There's so many. There's obviously the highlight reel stuff. Where every year there are 5-10 new mindblowing moments.

There was one against the Canadiens last year where he banked the puck behind the defenseman, did like a 360, took it and falling down with one stick on his hand, shoveled the puck over Carey Price.

This guy's a robot. He's like the plague. He's a galloping force across the Russian steppes. You can hear the galloping miles away and you're like, OK, gather your children, gather your wife, head for the hills and leave what you don't need behind because he's going to sack and pillage your town. He's like Genghis Khan.

Do you remember that goal he scored on his back a couple years ago?
Yeah, against Phoenix. Again, it's like superhuman, incomphrehensible... it's like he made that happen with his brain. He wills that into happening. You know like when you're a kid and you try to use The Force?  You try and move objects? Well, he did that. And he made it work.

Do you remember the hot stick celebration?
Yeah. I thought it was awesome. He totally earned the right to do that and I loved it. And I thought it was amazing that it was a bit showboat-y and risque. You knew people were going to be pissed off about it and that's what I liked about it.

Do you remember that goofy all-star game shootout goal he did wearing a hat and Randy "Macho Man" Savage sunglasses?
Yes, I do. And I think again, he's all about the pure fun and enjoyment of the game. The game. It's a game. And he's 100 per cent dedicated to the glorious fun and the rush and the enjoyment of it at its maximum.

So when he's wearing glasses and the two sticks he's giving something to the fans and he's indulging in the fun aspect of it. C'mon, so many people in hockey and in sports take themselves sooo seriously. It's like they only have one working part in their brain and it's like an acorn and it only processes the technique of the game and playing 110 per cent in the corners and on the boards. But he's got a more multi-dimensional mind.

Let's talk about his bodychecking. There hasn't been a high-scoring forward as brutal as him in the modern era of hockey.
He's a power forward in every sense of the word. And he's successful at it. He hasn't started getting injured yet and I hope he doesn't.

His hits are just like a manifestation of his complete desire to plow through to victory. It's like, nothing will stand in his way. He's got supreme motivation and dedication. He's single-minded in his approach. It's really impressive and intense.

Do you think he's someone who's going to burn out or fade away?
I really hope not. I think he's still got many years left in him. And I think he's a smart enough player to adapt and change his style in order to accommodate his aging. I think he's always going to retain that exuberance and jubilation. That will always be a factor in how he plays.

Anything else we should know?
I just want to say glory be to Ovechkin and may he lift the Cup high, shining above Russian fields this summer and may the sun shine down upon it in the light of full, total victory.

You can download Tim Fletcher's "Alexander Ovechkin" for free here.