Lindsay Lohan — Speak

While making fun of actress Lindsay Lohan's album is all too easy, simply decrying its utter lack of imagination, musicianship, soul and style is all too predictable. Don't blame me — blame Lindsay; she hasn't offered up much to work with here. First single, the lite-Jacko-esque "Rumors," presented potential for a semi-palatable debut effort. But in the end, this is crap of a spectacularly unspectacular level.

Speak (an appropriate title, given Lindsay wisely gravitates to sing-talking, rather than attempting any actual harmony or melody) is full of bland ballads, redundant rawk riffs and inane lyrics so saccharine they're likely to promote diabetic comas. (Like on "Symptoms Of You" — "There's a good kind of pain/an insane kind of sane/When I'm around you.")

And minus points for the pop poppet strapping on a guitar in her liner notes photos, which she doesn't actually play. Although we should probably be thankful for that.

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