"Weird Al" Yankovic — The Essential "Weird Al" Yankovic

The entire time I listened to The Essential "Weird Al" Yankovic, I had to wonder whether the guy was parodying and mocking the concept of "essential" collections or greatest hits albums. You'd have to figure that an "essential" disc that consists of 38 songs over two discs means a lot of those tunes aren't entirely... "essential."

Even if this is meant to be a joke it's still not a very funny one, as this album will do nothing but test your patience from beginning to end. If you haven't yet figured out what I'm trying to say, it's that three-quarters of the songs on here are extraneous and have no business being here.

Come to think of it, where the hell is "Phony Calls"?

"Melanie," "I'll Sue Ya" and "It's All About The Pentiums" are sub-par "Weird Al" material and take away from the sheer brilliance and hilarity of "Eat It," "Smells Like Nirvana," "Amish Paradise" and "White & Nerdy." That's the thing, though — not every single someone releases can be a hit. That goes for you, too, "Weird Al."

I'd like to propose a revised tracklisting for this one, and here are what I think can truly be called "essential" "Weird Al" tunes:

"Eat It"
"Yoda"
"Like A Surgeon"
"Dare To Be Stupid"
"Smells Like Nirvana"
"Jurassic Park"
"Amish Paradise"
"Your Horoscope For Today"
"eBay"
"White & Nerdy"