Artist Of The Year @ NXNE 2009

Background/ Composition:
Four cross-dressing dudes with more talent than sense.

Grade: 98

Comment:
"Everybody's ready? I hope so, 'cause we're drunk and high on shrooms."

That's pretty much how you have to kick it off when you hit the stage in gaudy dresses, gold masks, and neon afro wigs. With their eye often closed in concentration — who knows what they were seeing — Artist Of The Year delivered the heaviest funk jam possible. Their music ventured into filthy raw techno and heavy fuzz hard rock, but stayed rooted to an ass-shaking core that shook the crowd into a sweaty frenzy. If only their clothes had stayed rooted to their bodies.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: G
Pronunciation: G
Stage Presence: E
Stage Banter: E
Image: E
Appearance: E
Use Of Stage: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
The bass player and primary squeak vocalist tore his dress off before the second song was over. Before long he was ripping into his band mate's evening wear. It was a semi-nude kind of feeling.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: E
Problem Solving: E
Teamwork: E
Work Habits: E
Organization: E
Audience Participation: E
Sound: E
Composition: E
Songs: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
The air-tight, bone-hard electro funk these guys spewed out grabbed my throat from note one. I've never heard a band move so smoothly from hip-grinding grooves to massive fuzzed out rock noise. It was spectacular.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Sexiness: G
Haircut: E
Indie Rock Footwear: E
Nods To Disposable Fashion: E
Cool Equipment: E
Level Of Inebriation: E
Actual Ability: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
As we were jumping up and down with our arms around each other, my pal Trevor shouted in my ear, "They're too good for costumes!" He's got a point there. At NXNE bands tend to go over the top because they know they have to stand out to be noticed. For Artist Of The Year, their music is already a spectacle.