The Johnstones @ CMW 2009

Background / Composition:
This Ajax, Ont. ska-punk band have become infamous for their onstage (and off-stage) hijinks, which include playing in their tightie whities, ending up in jail cells across the country and being banned for life from Disney World.

Grade: 77

Comment:
If you weren't familiar with The Johnstones on Friday night, you quickly became so, since the band made it clear when they bounded on stage with their shirts off and wearing ridiculous get-ups that they were all about being in your face, whether you liked it or not.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: E
Pronunciation: G
Stage Presence: G
Stage Banter: E
Image: G
Appearance: G
Use Of Stage: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
"Pay attention to The Johnstones" should have been the evening's tagline. When the band hit the stage they immediately launched into a song filled with expletives which had the contingent of girls in their late teens screaming at the front of the stage. Drummer Ryan Long came out from behind his kit for a while and ran across stage during a few songs, and the band's high energy performance was sustained throughout their set.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: E
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: G
Organization: G
Audience Participation: N
Sound: G
Composition: G
Songs: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
The highlight of The Johnstones' set was their ridiculous cover of Presidents Of The United States Of America's "Lump." Horns and the band's silly hairdos made the song even more hilarious and cartoonish than the original. At one point, something was wrong with the micing on a tambourine, so trombonist Julian Warme just threw it down, picked his trombone back up and carried on like a true professional. Despite his plaid shirt and pants, of course.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: G
Haircut: S
Indie Rock Footwear: E
Nods To Disposible Fashion: E
Cool Equipment: S
Level Of Inebriation: E
Actual Ability: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
While The Johnstones are enjoyable at first, within the first few songs, their act gets a bit hard to handle. There's only so much pop punk/ska punk stupidity in the vein of Blink-182 one can take. This is obviously their schtick and they've honed it perfectly, but unless it's your own personal schtick as well, you may find them more annoying than amusing in the end.