Madonna Shouldn't Play Guitar

Air Canada Centre

Toronto, ON

on Oct 18 2008

Phil Villeneuve (CHARTattack)

10/20/2008 9:40am

Madonna's first show at Toronto's Air Canada Centre on her Sticky & Sweet Tour was a damn good spectacle. For fans who had never seen her before, it was probably mind-blowing, but for those who've seen any of her past three tours, this time around was more sticky than sweet.

Madonna has a massive catalogue to chose from, and though she successfully took most of this tour to showcase her latest Hard Candy album, she played a number of obvious hits in between. This was something that only left me (and the hoards of people leaving the sold-out ACC) wanting more. You can't please everyone, but do we have to hear "Ray Of Light" again? What about "Frozen," your Madgesty?!

Minutes before the show began, the buzz was electric. Madonnabes, disgruntled (but secretly excited) boyfriends, moms and gays all waited impatiently for the queen to start for her first time since 2004's Re-Invention Tour. When she did finally appear amongst a throng of amazingly massive video screens splitting, twirling and exploding around her, the crowd got out of control. For a split second, everyone got a taste of what it must have felt like to be at Blond Ambition in 1990, the pinnacle of all Madonna tours.

She opened the show with "Candy Shop," sitting legs wide open on a throne. From there, she moved into the Pharrell and Kanye West-assisted "Beat Goes On." Madge was in absolute fierce form. She kept up with her elastic dance troupe and you could easily see the definition lines of her ass from the 100 level seats.

She then ripped into a string of hits, starting with guitar-driven "Human Nature," which featured the much-talked about Britney video backdrop, and then moved on to "Vogue."

Madge and her crew then appeared in '80s New York hip-hop gear, complete with Keith Haring art to back them up. "Into The Groove," a rocked out "Borderline" and "Music" were sown through newer material here, which propelled the audience to stand and dance.

In the Spanish bohemian segment of the show, the recently separated pop star dedicated "Miles Away" to the emotionally retarded — a tamer version of her dedication nights before in Boston where she personalized the message by insinuating that she had experienced someone of that description in her life.

She then burst into a recycled version of "La Isla Bonita" from her Live Earth performance with Gogol Bordello. The one and only slow jam of the night was a beautiful rendition of "You Must Love Me" from Evita, followed by a Romanian folk-interlude where Madge had shots of something on stage (it was probably seaweed juice or something, rather than vodka).

This segment also featured the first set of absolutely futurist lights and magic. A round cylinder or screens enveloped Madonna during "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You," making it look like she was being eating up by swirling waves of water. I've never seen anything like it.

"4 Minutes" then quickly brought everyone to their feet. Justin Timberlake appeared via moving video screen cameo, but still managed to drive the stadium wild.

A poppers-in-the-club rave-o-rama of "Like A Prayer" and a request segment, where the queen asked front row fans what they wanted to hear and played snippets of "Express Yourself" and "Holiday," made up for lacklustre versions of "Hung Up," played on guitar, and "Ray Of Light."

The show ended with the second set of eyebrow-raising technical wonders when the entire arena felt like it was transformed into a pinball machine with insane lasers, lights and full force dancing and chanting of "Give It 2 Me." When the song ended, the first notes of "Holiday" started playing and everyone got ready for one final dance off and then, THE LIGHTS WENT UP. Yes, people. She didn't play "Holiday."

So yes, this was a great fucking show. But a bigger variety of hits was needed. She pulled out the same catalogue songs as on previous tours. We need more variety. Two, put down the guitar. Sure, she was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, but the woman is a pop star, not a rock star, and she can only play a few chords. She played a total of six songs on the guitar, and it flat out bored people.

Her greatest show ever? Not a chance. But can the queen of pop still put on an impressive, ball-busting concert at 50? Yes, she can — like no one else.