Snoop Dogg — Tha Blue Carpet Treatment

Snoop's the laziest workaholic ever, phoning in verses from the set of 7th Heaven or wherever he's currently prostituting himself while his homeboys roll his joints and spoon-feed his boney ass apple sauce. Unsurprisingly, the rapper sleep-C-walks through a few tracks on his overly long eighth album, making you wonder if he even has the strength to fondle his women anymore. But here's the chronic cloud's silver lining: Tha Blue Carpet Treatment contains an album's worth of straight-up bangers. The buzzing bass line on the G-Funky Nate Dogg-assisted "Crazy" is insanely melodic, and R. Kelly's chorus on "That's That Shit" is, simply put, the balls. If you can ignore the image of Snoop's Mr. Burns-esque physique engaged in sexual activity, the Akon collabo "I Wanna Fuck You" is the rare strip club anthem that sounds just as good on The Gap's PA system. On tracks like these, Snoop sounds the most awake he has since his mid-'90s frontal lobotomy. He still raps like Charlie Brown's parents, never really saying much, but it's been a while since he's sounded this good doing it.