Hospital Bombers @ NXNE 2008

BACKGROUND/COMPOSITION: Hospital Bombers are the Dutch Immaculate Machine, if the male half of the vocal tandem kind of couldn't sing and the songs didn't sound sort of familiar.

Grade: 67

Comment: It's not that I like to discourage anyone from making music, but these fresh-faced Dutch kids don't have a unique sound, songwriting chops, an interesting look or much stage presence. But hey, they got to open for Sloan and Ted Leo/Pharmacists, so they must be doing something right.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: G
Pronunciation: S 
Stage Presence: S
Stage Banter: S
Image: S
Appearance: S
Use Of Stage: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: 
Hilariously, the frontman and woman spoke so quietly that I didn't even know until visiting their MySpace page after the show that they were Dutch. The drummer looked afraid of the crowd, and the Kurt Cobain emulating bassist was really, really into his instrument and not so much the audience. The singers made up for their rhythm section's lack of presence by looking ahead and smiling while they performed.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: S
Problem Solving: S
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: E
Organization: E
Audience Participation: S
Sound: S
Composition: S
Songs: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: 
Like I said above, there's literally nothing Hospital Bombers are doing that 400 other also-ran indie popsters are trading in as well. I would be shocked if they make it given how MOR their sound is. If Immaculate Machine can't make it to the next level, there's no way these guys (and one girl) do.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: G
Problem Solving: S
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: S
Haircut: S
Indie Rock Footwear: N
Nods To Disposible Fashion: G
Cool Equipment: S
Level Of Inebriation: N
Actual Ability: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: 
This is one of the first times I've a) been able to see footwear and b) judge it harshly. The lead singer wore jeans and Birkenstocks at a show sponsored by Converse. I mean, they were giving away Converse shoes by the barrel. Members of Ted Leo's band and Sloan were rocking them. And there's no excuse for the jeans and sandals look. I just can't even say how unappealing it is to look at on stage. Otherwise, they had no real co-ordinated or cool aesthetic, but I don't want to judge too much. I mean, they're Dutch, so they are cooler than us by default, right? Maybe not.