My Darkest Days @ NXNE 2008

BACKGROUND/COMPOSITION: My Darkest Days are a four-piece that play modern rock for 12 year-olds whose parents just don't understand them.

Grade: 67

Comment:
This grade is a compromise. Technically, the band should probably get 100, because they are perfect at what they do. However, what the do is so slick, so manufactured, so soulless and so empty that I, as a person who actually cared about good music that means something, wanted to give them 34. So, to even it out I gave them an average of the two scores.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: E
Pronunciation: G
Stage Presence: S
Stage Banter: N
Image: S
Appearance: S
Use Of Stage: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep:
My Darkest Days came ready with a highly calculated stage show designed for maximum MuchMusic-style rock star potential. On an Edgefest stage, their over-the-top gestures and posturing and blinky light show will probably fit right in. On The Rivoli’s relatively small stage for a 40 minute showcase set, the whole thing just looked ridiculous and embarrassing. 

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: G
Organization: G
Audience Participation: G
Sound: G
Composition: G
Songs: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: 
My Darkest Days feel empty inside, so they write angsty rock songs. They have pain, so they write more angsty rock songs. They have sad relationships with girls, so they write the requisite ballads about breaking up. They’re pretty much the perfect manufacture modern rock package and it's pretty much a certainty they're going to rule the world.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: N
Haircut: G
Indie Rock Footwear: G
Nods To Disposible Fashion: N
Cool Equipment: G
Level Of Inebriation: G
Actual Ability: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep:
The band’s outfits made them look like they’d been handpicked out of douchebag central casting. Dog tags? Jeans with the knees carefully cut out, intact flaps hanging from the bottom? Sunglasses artfully dangling from a casually unbuttoned dress shirt while inside at 10 p.m.? Really guys, why not go all the way and wear matching Affliction shirts? It would fit in perfectly with the frat-ish group shooters the boys downed on stage before starting the set.