The Wet Secrets @ NXNE 2008

BACKGROUND/COMPOSITION: Wet: probably the best, juiciest kind of secret. One has to wonder what prompted these three guys and two gals to pick their enigmatic name... Whispered gossip during class? Is it code for spitballs? The Wet Secrets' live sets have been described as raunchy and rollicking, which sounds just about right for the Horseshoe.

Grade: 82

Comment: Now this is how you put on a show. You may have seen promo shots of The Wet Secrets wearing band outfits — well, they wear them on stage, too, and the ladies were sporting ass-kicking platforms. They must have been eight feet tall..

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: S
Pronunciation: G
Stage Presence: G
Stage Banter: S
Image: E
Appearance: E
Use Of Stage: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step: 
By the second song, crowd members were leaving the stage area, holding their hands over their ears because the set was too loud. Where are you people from, the suburbs? I'm not sure if it was part of the act, but the band's lady duo didn't seem to enjoy what they were doing. Crack a smile, girls.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Work Habits: G
Organization: G
Audience Participation: G
Sound: G
Composition: G
Songs: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step: 
Here's proof you can have a pop band without a guitar. Bass, keys, drums and horns seemed a bit of an odd combination at first, but it eventually won everyone over. The Wet Secrets get the song title of the night award with "Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache, Asshole."

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Sexiness: E
Haircut: G
Indie Rock Footwear: E
Nods To Disposible Fashion: E
Cool Equipment: G
Level Of Inebriation: S
Actual Ability: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step: 
For band uniforms, these outfits were pretty hot. Cheers to extra-curricular activities. Kudos also to the choreographed dance routine on the "The Ballad Of El Doucho."