Muchos Backflips! @ NXNE 2008

BACKGROUND/COMPOSITION: A large collaboration of Texan weirdos, including an Eddie Murphy lookalike on drums, a guitarist who looked like a reject from We Are Scientists and a guy in a Bozo The Clown mask playing trumpet.

Grade: 45

Comment: The only thing worse than a jam band is an unexpected jam band.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard. 60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way. 00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: S
Pronunciation: N 
Stage Presence: S
Stage Banter: N
Image: S
Appearance: N
Use Of Stage: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep:
This was probably the most random-looking collection of individuals that I've seen on stage at an NXNE showcase in years. It probably fit, then, that they were a jam band "in disguise," which did nothing but turn off the audience's attention. My compatriots busied themselves with beer and cigarettes.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: G
Problem Solving: N 
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: N
Organization: S
Audience Participation: N
Sound: S
Composition: N
Songs: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep:
Okay, so at least they were all active players, from Bozo to another trumpet player who appeared out of nowhere, to the bored-looking guitarists. But it should go without saying that fuzzy, meandering jams are not the best use of time when you've got the midnight slot at the Bovine. At least give us some of those advertised backflips.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: N
Problem Solving: N 
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: N
Haircut: S
Indie Rock Footwear: S
Nods To Disposible Fashion: N
Cool Equipment: S
Level Of Inebriation: S
Actual Ability: N

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep:
Seriously, buzz band or not, this fuckery should not have been granted this slot. Even I went gasping for a nicotine fix after this mess ended.