Sabrina Korva @ NXNE 2008

BACKGROUND/COMPOSITION: Sabrina Korva is a classically trained pianist who also loves Queen and Guns N' Roses. On paper, the result should be something akin to a female Meat Loaf. Luckily, Sabrina’s modus operandi doesn’t include the lumpiness for which Meat is known.

Grade: 52

Comment:I’m sure she’s a very nice person, but I really don’t understand why an artist like Sabrina Korva is playing NXNE. Her tepid bar band stylings were both entirely unoriginal and mind-numbingly boring, and all served with as much energy as a wet paper towel. It seems like the type of music you’d expect to hear at a strip mall booze can rather than a big city music festival. Most unfortunate.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: G
Pronunciation: S
Stage Presence: S
Stage Banter: S
Image: G
Appearance: G
Use Of Stage: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step: 
The lackluster sound didn’t do Korva any favours and perhaps that’s a good thing as her performance was entirely forgettable at every level. The liveliest she got was for a straight-laced version of “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”. That speaks volumes.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: S
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: G
Organization: S
Audience Participation: N
Sound: S
Composition: S
Songs: N

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step:
It really is all about the songs and in Korva’s case, she doesn’t have a lot to work with. Tepid pop/rock and mundane, obvious balladry are her weapons of choice, and trust me, both pieces of artillery are equally as painful. 

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: S
Problem Solving: S
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: G
Haircut: G
Indie Rock Footwear: N
Nods To Disposable Fashion: S
Cool Equipment: G
Level Of Inebriation: S
Actual Ability: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/Next Step: 
Korva actually referenced her high-heeled shoes at one point, with regards to the challenges of wearing them on-stage. She probably should’ve gone for a sensible flat.