Five Blank Pages @ NXNE 2007

Background/Composition: This pep-pop four piece are suited to lovers of guitar-jangles, vocal harmony and people singing "ba-ba-ba." At least, they're trying to be. Really, Five Blank Pages sounded like a work in progress at best. At worst, they're a dead end in need of an overhaul and a new lead singer.

Grade: 62

Comment: NXNE is full of underwhelming filler bands who you forget by the time you finish your drink. Five Blank Pages are one of these. Not to say that the Torontonians are devoid of talent. They play their instruments well and surprised me on occasion with some interesting rhythms. But, for the most part I felt like I had heard most of their songs before a million times. Even if I wanted to coast on comfortable familiarity, their flat harmonies were about as smooth as a rusted bike chain. Without some major improvements in songwriting and singing, Five Blank Pages will be stuck playing low-end indie gigs forever.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: G
Pronounciation: N
Stage Presence: G
Stage Banter: N
Image: N
Appearance: S
Use Of Stage: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Bassist Rajiv Thavanathan stole the show with his ecstatic and erratic dancing. He hopped and bopped through the entire set, looking so dorky that his antics went full circle and became endearing. Clearly, he had more fun than anybody else, on stage or off. Noyan Hilmi was less animated, possibly because he was trying to sing on key. Flat vocals from Hilmi and both backup singers soured what should have been Five Blank Pages' sweetheart harmonies. These kids better stay after class for some singing lessons.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: G
Problem Solving: S
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: S
Organization: E
Audience Participation: S
Sound: G
Composition: G
Songs: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Most of their songs were predictable pop rock, but Five Blank Pages did save themselves from being completely mundane with a surprising detour into country cabaret and one waltzing torch song. The musicians were skilled and practiced, but their abilities couldn't make up for the mostly unoriginal songs and meaningless lyrics ("We love because we wanna love" -- please.) Good musicians can't save boring songs.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: S
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: N
Haircut: S
Indie Rock Footwear: S
Nods To Disposible Fashion: N
Cool Equipment: S
Level Of Inebriation: G
Actual Ability: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Hilmi sounded almost ashamed when he announced his band's name before their last song. Maybe he was as disappointed with the show as I was. Five Blank Pages need a charismatic lead singer with a strong voice and Hilmi is just not it. They could use some better songs, too.