Les Breastfeeders @ NXNE 2007

Background/Composition: A lot of noise, a lot of French, and a lot of greatness.

Grade: 93

Comment: A text-message exchange with a friend after the band's set: "Les Breastfeeders = L'AWESOME." - "Those Franco motherfuckers OWN MY LOINS." That sums it all up.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: G
Pronounciation: S
Stage Presence: E
Stage Banter: E
Image: E
Appearance: G
Use Of Stage: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Collectively, they were one of the weirdest groups I've ever seen, but they ruled the stage with a bilingual fist. Banter in two languages! Not to mention the frontman looked like a Francophone Eddie Argos, doing a lot of arm-waving and shrieking.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: E
Problem Solving: E
Teamwork: E
Work Habits: E
Organization: G
Audience Participation: E
Sound: E
Composition: G
Songs: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: By the time The Boat's floor began shaking en masse from the dancing crowd, there was no going back. Filling the small room with punky, spiky Franco-pop, Les Breastfeeders rock the garage jangle like Swedes and craft super catchy tunes. Add French yelling (heckling? encouragement?) from the audience, and you have one hell of a sight-and-sound spectacle.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: E
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Sexiness: G
Haircut: E
Indie Rock Footwear: E
Nods To Disposible Fashion: E
Cool Equipment: E
Level Of Inebriation: E
Actual Ability: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Let's see here: We've got a sweaty shirtless drummer, a nebbish guitarist who looks like some dude's big brother, a steely bassist who seemed to be trying to draw blood from his guitar strings, a super-cute female guitarist bringing '60s mod back, all topped off by a crazed frontman howling "MONTREAL! MONTREAL!" as an entire song's lyrics. Screw separatism, Les Breastfeeders will bring our country together.