Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

Release date: May 25, 2007
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Chow Yun-Fat

Somewhere in the mess of Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest's outrageous swashbuckling, irksome makeup effects and overly convoluted plot, something was missing.

It wasn't until after the first 10 minutes of At World's End that it hit me: the second film is primarily without Captain Barbossa (Rush). You see, amid all the mounds of cash created by this runaway franchise is the core reason that audiences wanted to see it in the first place — pirates. Who doesn't love pirates? They're cool, morally ambiguous, righteously attired and sail merrily off into the sunset with gold-lined pockets and possibly a missing limb.

But while Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) captures all of our hearts with his fumbling, swishy swagger and comical laissez-faire demeanor, Barbossa is the quintessential pirate. He has the mocking sneer, the rolling accent and the eyes that suggest bad mischief in the making. Where Captain Jack seems the kind of fellow who might play shadow puppets for you at bedtime, Barbossa gives you the impression of someone who will pour you a glass of wine then run you through with his cutlass because you didn't properly appreciate the bouquet.

But back to the movie.

Our intrepid heroes, Will Turner (Bloom) and wannabe grrl-pirate Elizabeth Swann (Knightley) — devastated by the loss of the Black Pearl and Captain Jack to Davy Jones' Locker — have enlisted the assistance of a resurrected Barbossa and the oracle Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris) to reclaim their wobbly, hot pirate captain and his ship at the edge of the world.

Cue the entrance of Captain Sao Feng (Yun-Fat), an Asian pirate who has a warlord aura thing going on. Turns out, Sao Feng has some issues with Jack, too. And this, of course, is where the muddled storyline from Dead Man's Chest grabs a suffocating hold. Elizabeth and Will want Jack and the Black Pearl back so that they can take out Davy Jones (Nighy), save Will's father and hopefully get a little more hot Elizabeth and Jack make out action. The English redcoats are still wheeling, dealing and backstabbing against the pirates and the aristocracy alike. Davy Jones, along with his wriggling tentacles, is still all misty eyed and weepy over his lost love.

But then an interesting thing occurred. While watching the movie and being particularly amused by Captain Jack's delusions and Barbossa's oh-so-piratey laugh, I realized there were actually two films going on simultaneously: A good one (Captain Jack and Barbossa) and a bad (Will, Elizabeth and Davy Jones' waving beard). It was actually possible, minus the odd irritating interaction, to separate the plots and start ignoring the lame things.So while those miserable colonials started looking to wipe out the pirate populace, I started blocking the bad and replaced it with, "What is Jack doing right now? Has he decided between hot young Elizabeth lips, or some sweet man love from the scruffy elf?" And thus, the movie progressed in a far more bearable fashion.

For every entertaining delusional Jack moment, I forgave Elizabeth's god-awful Braveheart-inspired speech. For every allusion to the repressed struggling against the mighty, there was a flaming monkey or airborne little person to make me chuckle.

Fortunately, director Gore Verbinski smartened up and limited the appearance of the barnacle-attired crew. And my goodness, there be plenty of sexual innuendo and symbolism. If someone had been able to shake some sense into the filmmakers to cut down the multiple plots and backstabbings, At World's End might have been far more palatable. Look for repeat gags, shtick characters and a rather vomit-y post-credit clip, along with the potential for a fourth film.

At World's End is a tolerable summer blockbuster with many moments of mindless amusement, provided you hang up your critical faculties at the door.