Sunparlour Players @ CMW 2007

Background/Composition: And you thought Broken Social Scene were big. The Sunparlour Players are essentially a two-man project, but Andrew Penner and Mark Schachowskoy have no problem sharing the spotlight with friends. A great number of people are required in order to create their off-kilter country-punk assault.

Grade: 90

Comment: On this night, the Sunparlours set out to examine the age-old question, "How many band members can you fit on The Silver Dollar stage?" The answer is somewhere around 14, if a bunch of them squeeze together tightly across the back. The other six or seven leftover members were rotated on and off as required.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: G
Pronounciation: E
Stage Presence: E
Stage Banter: G
Image: E
Appearance: E
Use Of Stage: G

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: When it came time for the Players to take the stage, the bar nearly completely emptied, as most of the people in the crowd were actually band members. It was an exciting thing for hipsters and music snobs to witness.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Work Habits: E
Organization: G
Audience Participation: G
Sound: E
Composition: E
Songs: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Everything about the Sunparlours was big on this night, from the howling vocals to the huge-ass instruments. The majority of the stage was taken up by the world's biggest keyboard and a large drum set. The eight-woman back-up choir may have been a little excessive, but if you can find eight hot chicks to sing in your band, why not put them on a stage?

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: G
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Sexiness: E
Haircut: G
Indie Rock Footwear: G
Nods To Disposible Fashion: G
Cool Equipment: E
Level Of Inebriation: E
Actual Ability: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Guitars, drums, keyboards, cellos, violins, trumpets, trombones, clarinets, xylophones and 20 good-looking guys and gals? No. No one will like this band.