The Golden Dogs @ CMW 2007

Background/Composition: The Golden Dogs are the perfect students of rock. They're a grade-A student, but no brown noser; a starter on the senior basketball team, but no jock; a fine artist, but no maladjusted social miscreant. They're genuinely liked by all and boy am I going to miss them when they graduate and move on into that big old world out there. Just come back and visit sometime, OK?

Grade: 95

Comment: In many years of handing out these report cards to eager young musicians, this may be the highest grade I've ever given out (C'MON from 2005 was pretty darn close though). The Golden Dogs are just shy of perfection, with a raucous rock 'n' roll set that toppled everything else the Legendary Horseshoe Tavern hosted for CMW. Like a talent show at an elementary school where everyone else shuffles out to sing (in nasally, high-pitched whine), to dance (no rhythm), to tell a joke (met with dead silence, even by the parents), The Golden Dogs are that kid that comes out and does backflips while juggling fire. No offense to the other kids, but that's one hell of a talent.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e. rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=Sad Really

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: E
Pronounciation: E
Stage Presence: E
Stage Banter: E
Image: E
Appearance: E
Use Of Stage: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Frontman Dave Azzolini is the king. His spastic maneouvering about the stage and obvious love for inane guitar posturing is so terribly endearing that one can't help but to cheer him on. The other Dogs admirably back Azzolini up (especially keyboardist and wife Jessica Grassia, who is his perfect counterpart) and the stage invariably becomes their yard. Other bands should go to see The Golden Dogs for some after-class tutelage.

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: E
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Work Habits: E
Organization: E
Audience Participation: E
Sound: E
Composition: E
Songs: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: The Golden Dogs unique brand of rock is just too damn good. You have to wonder how much they end up spending on new equipment after shows because they really assault those poor little instruments, but for the crashing and wailing they tear out of them, it all seems worth it.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: E
Problem Solving: G
Teamwork: E
Sexiness: E
Haircut: E
Indie Rock Footwear: E
Nods To Disposible Fashion: E
Cool Equipment: E
Level Of Inebriation: E
Actual Ability: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: The Golden Dogs probably have the best live show you can see in a medium-to-small sized venue anywhere. Whether it's Azzolini flipping onto his back for a surprisingly shredding solo or Grassia pounding her keyboard into inifinity, the overall sonic assault of the Golden Dogs set is one that has to be heard and seen to be understood. Damn they're good.