Hexes & Ohs @ NXNE 2006

Background/Composition: Prog rock so intelligent, it'll make you wanna do long division and then multiply using Pi.

Grade: 72

Comment: They sound like they'd be really, really bad in bed.

Achievement of Rock 'n' Roll Expectations
80-100: Exceeds skill and knowledge expectations, i.e.rocked us so hard we peed our pants.
70-79: Achieves required skills and knowledge. Meets rock 'n' roll standard.
60-69: Demonstrates some skills. Approaches rock 'n' roll standard.
50-59: Demonstrates some required skills and knowledge in a limited way.
00-50: Has not demonstrated required skills or knowledge.

Learning Skills: E=Excellent, G=Good, S=Satisfactory, N=SadReally

Oral And Visual Communication
Eye Contact: S
Pronounciation: N
Stage Presence: S
Stage Banter: S
Image: E
Appearance: G
Use Of Stage: S

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: They employed a projection screen that illuminated po-mo art on the back wall. OK, that's kinda punk rock. But it felt like compensation for their adolescent awkwardness. They looked too scared and socially inept to talk to the crowd. Plus, for their projection to work, they turned off all the stage lights, essentially playing in the darkness. Afraid we'll see your acne and baby fat?

Musical Analysis
Level Of Participation: S
Problem Solving: S
Teamwork: G
Work Habits: G
Organization: G
Audience Participation: S
Sound: S
Composition: E
Songs: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Their music was fun and easily danceable. Perfect for body surfing or doing the Molly-Ringwald. They're not particularly gifted vocalists, there werep lenty of flat notes, missed cues, even forgotten lyrics. Bassist Heidi whipped out a tiny accordion to evoke the sounds of Paris, one can only assume. The drummer was the only one with his shit together. Plus, he kept ranting insanely between songs, very hilarious.

Other Skills And Areas Of Interest
Charisma: S
Problem Solving: S
Teamwork: G
Sexiness: N
Haircut: G
Indie Rock Footwear: E
Nods To Disposible Fashion: E
Cool Equipment: E
Level Of Inebriation: S
Actual Ability: E

Strengths/Weaknesses/NextStep: Wow, what nerds. And I'm not talking about hot nerds, cool nerds or fake nerds. I mean, I've seen nerdy bands before, but these guys were the nerdiest bunch of nerds who ever nerded. I hope when they hit puberty, things start to change. Heidi wore a t-shirt that said "Hexes," Edmund wore "Ohs," and I'm gonna assume the drummer's kit was blocking his shirt that said "&." That's all very clever, but it's also definitely the mating plummage of the Nerdus Majora. And what's with such long, empty pauses between songs? Too many false starts, too many fuck-ups. Just keep playing through them! Don't stop! They certainly were hexed.