Five (Mostly Theoretical) Musical Collaborations That Are Just As Obvious As Tool/King Crimson

Here's something that's entirely obvious. In fact, it's so incredibly obvious it's almost redundant.

Tool guitarist Adam Jones and King Crimson axeman Robert Fripp are considering releasing an album they apparently started recording five to six years ago in Los Angeles, according to The Pulse Of Radio. The two reportedly met in January in London, England to discuss both finishing the album and heading out on a speaking tour.

At this point, you're probably going, "Wait a minute! Tool and King Crimson... aren't those both the same band?"

Snarkasm aside, no. Tool draw tons from King Crimson, both in terms of their prog-rock-influenced metal sound and the artwork that adorns their albums. (One would think this draws at least a little bit from this, no?)

The connection doesn't just end there: Producer David Bottrill, who worked on Tool's 2006's 10,000 Days and 2001's Lateralus albums, has also helmed King Crimson's 1995 Thrak album and two of Fripp's three collaborations with Japan's (the band, not the country) David Sylvian. So basically, one could argue Tool are a slightly more metal, far much more misanthropic King Crimson.

At any rate, there's no other information about this right now. Jones must be getting quite bored, as Tool don't really seem any closer to getting the follow-up to 10,000 Days in stores and Maynard James Keenan's a little preoccupied with his wine documentary, vineyards and that upcoming Puscifer tour.

At any rate, here are a few theoretical and real collaborations that are just as obvious as a Tool/King Crimson team-up:

Interpol with Joy Division

Let's imagine for a minute that Ian Curtis hadn't killed himself, Joy Division had become the world's biggest band and Interpol decided they wanted to collaborate with them 30 years later. Would this even happen? They're both practically the same band. I think the studio would just explode as soon as they walked in.

Interpol's Paul Banks with New Order

Okay, understandably, the chances of this happening are next to none, considering New Order can't even decide whether they're still a band (I think the jury has come back with a verdict that they're not, considering Bernard Sumner has started Bad Lieutenant now) and Hooky mostly hates everyone else who was in the band. But imagine if this actually happened. This is kind of the exact same thing as above, but would it also be the equivalent of The Cult's Ian Astbury trying (and failing) to pull the whole Jim Morrison shtick off with The Doors?

Lady Gaga and Madonna

This hasn't happened, but it seems like it's only a matter of time. Gaga draws so much from Madonna (which both have acknowledged) that it'd be like watching or hearing some kind of mother-daughter Freaky Friday incident. Actually, now that I think about it, Madonna's challah arms scare the crap out of me and I don't really want to see this at all.

NSYNC or Backstreet Boys with New Kids On The Block

Thank fuck this didn't happen. But really, what could be more obvious than one (or both, God help us) of the two biggest teenie bopper boy bands of the '90s collaborating with arguably their biggest influence? Marky Mark, I know you weren't in NKOTB and that was your bro, but thank you for leaving music and doing something more constructive with your time.

Limp Bizkit and Korn's "All In The Family"

This one truly deserves to be locked up in a dungeon of shameful rock music and left to rot away so no one ever discovers it in the future. This unfortunately actually happened, and was laid down on record on Korn's 1998 Follow The Leader album. Yes, it's as awful as it theoretically sounds. The only thing which would possibly be worse would be Korn collaborating with Prong.