British Don't Understand Dizzee Rascal's Bat

British rapper Dizzee Rascal was arrested on Friday afternoon following an incident involving a baseball bat in Sevenoaks Way, Orpington, Kent.

Somewhere with a name that sounds that peaceful is no place to be indulging in criminal behaviour. But despite being detained for suspicion of possessing an offensive weapon before being released on bail, maybe Rascal (real name Dylan Mills) is more a victim than a culprit in this case.

After all, he's British. Name me one British baseball player. See, you can't. Rascal's crime may be that he just didn't know how to properly use a baseball bat. And the bobbies probably just assumed that something called a Louisville Slugger had to be a menace to society. Had Rascal been brandishing a cricket bat, there may have been no problems.

Of course, this is all conjecture. Maybe Rascal really did do something nasty with the baseball bat. BBC News reported that he allegedly approached a motorist with the bat in a case of road rage. But neither the cops nor the 2003 Mercury Prize winner or his people are talking, so we can't be entirely sure.

All a police spokesperson said in a Sky News report was: "A 24-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of being in possession of an offensive weapon. He has been bailed until later this month."

Rascal must return to a south London police station later this month. Let's hope he doesn't do something crazy like trying on a baseball glove. British authorities might not recognize it and think that it's an offensive weapon, too.

I'm not always big on conspiracy theories (especially when it comes to baseball), and I doubt English cops would be knowledgeable enough to put this one together, but consider this: Rascal adopted "Dizzee" as his stage name. He recorded a song for a charity earlier this year called "Dean." Jerome "Dizzy" Dean was a great major league pitcher and colourful character, who was the most valuable player in 1934 and was elected to the Baseball Hall Of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y. in 1953. Coincidence? Maybe.

Now don't start posting nasty comments about me being anti-British. I like fish and chips and The Beatles. If you want to find someone who's anti-British, seek out Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne, who said this to England's Daily Star tabloid on Saturday:

"I've never got Arctic Monkeys — they seem too much like a British thing to me.

"They're like Oasis whereby Americans can't really relate to them.

"Lots of British people like it but not for me, and I don't like Razorlight or Duffy much either."

Rascal will tour the U.K. with The Prodigy in April.

Rascal's Dirtee Stank label will release the Newham Generals' Generally Speaking in February. Rascal is featured in the video for album track "Violence" along with G Man. There are lots of violent scenes, but the editing is so fast that I couldn't tell if there were any involving a baseball bat. Here's the video: