Fielder-Civil: "I Ruined Something Beautiful"

12/01/08 1:44pm

by Kate Harper (CHARTattack)

Blake Fielder-Civil says he won't return to Amy Winehouse when he leaves rehab on Dec. 30. That's not because of divorce rumours which have been following the couple around for a few months — Fielder-Civil says he's leaving Winehouse for her own good.

Fielder-Civil told Britain's News Of The World tabloid that he's not after Winehouse's 10-million British pound (about $18 million Canadian) fortune and doesn't want any of her money when he leaves her. He says he blames himself for turning her on to drugs and won't return to her because he wants to stop her from killing herself.

"I made the biggest mistake of my life by taking heroin in front of her," he said in an interview where he broke down and cried. "I introduced her to heroin, crack cocaine and self-harming. I feel more than guilty."

Fielder-Civil also told the tabloid that he was in the room when Winehouse suffered a seizure in the summer of 2007 and blames himself for it.

"It was heartbreaking, seeing someone you love more than yourself, someone you would die for, someone you would kill for on the floor shaking."

He said when Winehouse came to, she didn't recognize him and "went hysterical."

"I knew fucking then that I had ruined something beautiful," he said. "It was all my fault. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life."

Fielder-Civil also confirmed that Winehouse had told him she'd cheated on him with Alex Haines, her manager's assistant. Winehouse was rumoured to have had an affair with Haines earlier this year, but Fielder-Civil said the clean-cut Haines, who has been described as someone who "hates drugs," had done the deed with Winehouse after the two had been on heroin and crack.

He says he forgave her, and also denies he's in a relationship with model Sophie Schandorff. But he says regardless of any infidelity, he won't return to Winehouse because he says he's the one who messed her up.

Winehouse has repeatedly been told she'll die if she doesn't stop her drug use. She was diagnosed with early stage emphysema in the summer. Her father, Mitch Winehouse, said it was linked to smoking crack.

"Now the most dignified thing I can ever do in my life is to release somebody I love from my fucking grasp, from my clutches," Fielder-Civil told the tabloid.

Winehouse was reported to have visited divorce lawyers last week to discuss splitting up with her husband. As of Friday, she was still in the hospital recovering from what was either a reaction to medication (as her publicist claimed) or a bender after a fight with Fielder-Civil.

Winehouse hasn't visited Fielder-Civil in rehab since he was released from prison. The former video production assistant was given a 27-month sentence for attempting to pervert the cause of justice after he admitted that he beat up pub landlord James King and tried to bribe King to stop him from testifying against him. He has been in rehab since Nov. 5.

Winehouse and Fielder-Civil married in May of 2007.