"1234," Amberly Thiessen's Out The Door

Canada may rock, but Amberly Thiessen doesn't. The remaining female Canadian Idol contestant was finally given her deserving ticket home on Tuesday night's show. After weeks of sitting through her off-tune performances, Monday night's rendition of Feist's "1234" finally brought the salvation we've all been waiting for.

The results show began with the five contenders joining together to sing Sloan's "Money City Maniacs" to mark "Canadian Rock" week. Not even the crowd looked impressed with the lame performance the wannabes gave.

During the judges' interview segment, Zack Werner said the show has been missing "spectacle." If he's looking for spectacle, this is the wrong show.

We watched a very bizarre SportsCentre-style highlight recap of Monday night's performances, which seemed odd considering the show's target audience. Something tells me that screaming 12-year-old girls won't know who Darren Dutchyshen is.

Simple Plan performed "Your Love Is A Lie" in their opening band kind of way. Frontman Pierre Bouvier's sleeve tattoo was looking super fresh. I'm thinking he got the entire arm done in one sitting — perhaps last week. Perhaps even at New Tribe, since it's not far from Idol headquarters.

Then the show got interesting. Fans were requested to send in questions to be answered by their Idol of choice. Mookie Morris was asked if, given the option, which music great he'd want to hang with: Bob Dylan or Neil Young. In keeping with Canadian Rock week, Morris chose Young. I would have picked Dylan. Young would make for fine entertainment and surely be engaging in political discourse. But if I only had an hour, I'd need to taste Dylan's antagonism.

The elimination drama was intensified by the ol' switcheroo game that host Ben Mulroney played on the contestants. Instead of the final three being called to centre stage, they remained on the couch, thinking they were safe. This game pleased me because, even though I had first thought Thiessen was safe, she wasn't.

Earl Stevenson, Drew Wright and Thiessen were called up from the couch and over to centre stage for some ego-shrinking. Goodbye, Thiessen. I guess being athlete of the year can't help you now. She looked genuinely shocked and her expression was even more pitiful than Mark Day's on his night of defeat.

"When I'm Gone," the first single from Simple Plan's self-titled album, is heard every Tuesday during the eliminated competitor's "highlight" video reel, so we got a second dose of the Montreal pop-punks as part of Thiessen's bon voyage. At least she can now claim to be the most famous person from Seven Persons, Alta., perhaps aside from Cyril Ogston, who Wikipedia says founded the hamlet southwest of Medicine Hat in the late 1800s.

There's something I've wondered since the first results show: Why, for their final performances, do the losers reprise the song that got them kicked off? Doesn't it make more sense for them to leave a positive impression behind, instead of re-butchering Feist, Tom Jones, Janis Joplin and so on? I'm just saying…

Idol will return next week with the five remaining male contestants. Mulroney said the "Idol Mansion" will morph into a frat house. I'm not sure this bunch is capable of hosting a good kegger, though it could be interesting to see what happens. But it probably won't.

The quintet of contenders will all sing Beatles songs on Aug. 18 at 9 p.m. ET/PT. Anne Murray fanatics expecting to see their crush on next week's episodes will have to repress their enthusiasm, as she's been bumped and will now mentor and perform in the Aug. 25 and 26 shows.