Canadian Idol: Episode Two Provides Few Thrills

Alright, Canada, another episode of Canadian Idol went down last night — and it was as mediocre as ever. I'm being generous.

Idol hopeful Khuram Sher came to Canada from Pakistan in 2005. The Montreal resident's singing really wasn't bad. What didn't work, though, was seeing a grown man in traditional cultural garb singing Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" with '80s choreography. Needless to say, the judges were even less impressed than me.

I must point out a continuous thread that weaves throughout the auditions. I don't understand why people come on this show and insist on making spectacles of their worst attributes. We see this in every city, every year. It's only hurting you, auditioners… and us by default.

A golden ticket was given to Seven Persons, Alta. resident Amberly Thiessen, who sang Brandi Carlile's "Wasted" while accompanied by her acoustic guitar. Judge Farley Flex was concerned Thiessen couldn't "wow" the audience if she made it through, while Sass Jordan dubbed her the next Idol.

My favourite from the Vancouver auditions was Australian ex-pat James Thomas-Hall, who was shown during show interludes singing "The Vomiting Song" in various public spaces. He chose to sing another one of his self-written comedy cuts, "This Song's Going To Get Stuck In Your Head," for his audition. The judges definitely didn't like him, but the song couldn't get past them either. They were still singing it when the next contestant entered the room.

Another noteworthy comical performance was Andrew Hennings' rendition of Meat Loaf's "Paradise By The Dashboard Light." Shout-outs go to Hennings for doing the song in its entirety, including both male and female sections of the bridge. He didn't make it through either.

In Winnipeg, Kayla Luky managed to hold her own singing KT Tunstall's "Black Horse And The Cherry Tree." I can't make fun of this one. She was good.

The others: not so much. I don't even know what Laura Gallant attempted to sing, and neither did the judges. Then there was 16-year-old Steven Porter, who said he was going to sing Michael Buble, but did Van Morrison's "Moondance." He presumably didn't know who wrote the song. I'm not sure if it was my now downed homemade Caesar or the contestant that made things blurry for me.

My favourite moment from this episode was the closing montage of failed contestants venting to the camera. Finally, some real entertainment.