Watching The Juno Awards At Home: One Man's View

You can read all about the Juno Award winners, behind-the-scenes artist quotes and the events that happened in Calgary late last week in other articles as part of ChartAttack's extensive Juno coverage. But if you want to know what news editor Steve McLean thought of CTV's Sunday night telecast, here are some random thoughts, observations and questions that popped into his head while he was watching:

The country music opening featured best country recording nominees Gord Bamford, Aaron Lines, Johnny Reid, Shane Yellowbird and Paul Brandt performing Brandt's "Alberta Bound." Unless you're a major country fan, you've probably heard of one, maybe two, of them.

A bunch of what were supposed to be empty oil drums decorated the stage. Maybe there's so much money in Calgary these days that they can afford shiny silver oil drums. Where I come from, they're usually rusted and filled with crap.

Host Russell Peters joked about Chad Kroeger losing his driver's license and Rene Angelil losing Celine Dion in a poker game. How has he become one of the hottest comedians around?

Feist was sitting beside her mom in the crowd and got lots of camera time since her daughter was called to the stage three times to accept awards. She seemed like a friendly woman, but I bet she scolded young Leslie for writing on her arm — something along the lines of, "You're on television, you should behave more lady-like."

Avril Lavigne performed "Girlfriend." Why would The Rubinoos want to claim an association with such a lame song?

Ian Tyson presented the best country recording award to Paul Brandt, insuring that you still won't remember the names of the other nominees in the category.

Finger Eleven performed "Paralyzer" with a local youth orchestra conducted by Peter Cardinali. The band members looked like nice young men in their suits.

Opera singer Measha Brueggergosman sang a couple of numbers, including a tribute to Oscar Peterson. I like her as a person much more than her choice of repertoire.

I enjoy yogurt.

Toronto's "real Kid Rock" was on stage looking as ridiculous as ever. That guy has never met a camera, or a fridge magnet, that he didn't love.

Feist performed "Sealion" in a different dress than she was wearing earlier. It was shorter, and I appreciated that — as well as her guitar-playing and vocal effects.

IllScarlett and the "Ultimate Music Fan" contest winner (who apparently had the opportunity to "party like a rock star" all weekend) presented the Doritos Fan Choice Award to Michael Buble. Apparently eating cheesy tortilla chips goes well with listening to cheesy pop crooners.

How much plastic surgery do you think Anne Murray has had?

Like Measha Brueggergosman, I like Jann Arden as a person much more than her choice of repertoire.

What exactly was Sarah Brightman doing on the show?

Tom Cochrane inducted Triumph into the Canadian Music Hall Of Fame, and Rik Emmett actually appeared on stage with Gil Moore and Mike Levine. I wonder if Moore's plastic surgeon is friends with Anne Murray's? Levine was taking a real risk by wearing a Jarome Iginla jersey, wasn't he?

A couple of federal ministers got in on the presentation action by joining Serena Ryder and Quebec star Pascale Picard in giving the best new group award to Wintersleep, who wonderfully illustrated how not to give an acceptance speech.

I wonder how much a plastic surgeon would charge if I requested elf-shaped ears like those of Jacob Hoggard. The two female backing singers were more visible than Hedley's other three members during their performance.

There was a taped skit where former Junos host Jann Arden mistook Russell Peters for a tanned Mike Bullard. Not bad. But then she convinced him to dress like a cowboy. That was an even more obvious ploy to curry favour with the locals than Mike Levine's Flames jersey — much too obvious and predictable, in fact.

Michael Buble sang "Everything" and thousands of moms across Canada were probably screaming with excitement in their living rooms.

Alex Cuba, Sophie Milman and Jesse Cook presented the group of the year award to Blue Rodeo, and Greg Keelor even combed his hair for the occasion.

Feist was back wearing the same dress as she was before she performed when she came on stage to collect her third award of the night. Bring back the mini-dress.

Jully Black closed the show by performing my favourite Canadian single of 2007, "Seven Day Fool," with her boyfriend on drums, a full complement of backing singers and musicians, and Russell Peters coming out to ham it up with her as the closing credits rolled.

The show thankfully ended on time after two hours.

Join the ChartAttack-initiated campaign to make Nardwuar The Human Serviette the host of next year's Junos show in Vancouver.