Hunter Valentine Tour Diary #2: Smearing Whip Cream On Social Code

The rockin' ladies of Hunter Valentine have been touring all over the place and keeping track of their adventures. In their last report, singer/guitarist Kiyomi McCloskey met Joan Jett. Let's see what happened to her this time:

Hello All!

Now where did we leave off, pretty people? Ahhh, we were pulling into the beautiful city of Victoria. We played the show minus Social Code. The next day we hopped back on the luxurious ferry we came across on and headed to Vancouver. One thing I have yet to mention about this tour is that we are crashing on whatever floor is available if need be. So before pulling into Vancouver, I discovered that I have a great deal of Japanese relatives that in fact reside in Van City.

Little did I know they had set up somewhat of a small family reunion when we arrived at my 74-year-old second cousin's house. I am sure it was even that much more surprising for Adrienne and Laura. However, I don't think they were complaining when they saw the buffet-style spread of food on the table. Previous to this evening we were taking "starving musician" to a whole new level on this tour. It felt great to finally make it as far west as Vancouver. We felt a little silly playing the song "Van City" in Van City — actually, the next day Laura and I went on a little tour of the city and wandered over to Hastings and Main, which is what our song "Van City" is based on. That neighbourhood was incredibly shocking. I was happy to hear, however, that the city is finally taking measures to try and clean itself up. I think it's kind of sad that it took the Olympics being there for them to realize they had to do something.

Next up was Kelowna and a whole new set of Japanese relatives! Once again we arrived and dinner was on the table. The Kelowna venue was packed and everyone was very energetic and responsive. We had a great time. It was only a quick stay in Kelowna, because we had a long drive to Edmonton the next morning. Did I mention that I recently got my G1 learner's permit and my bandmates have been brave enough to let me drive throughout this beautiful country?

Driving into Edmonton, we passed a gigantic, oversized pick-up truck (which seems to be the standard issue in this city) that had a huge sticker on the back that read, "BALLS DEEP." How crude, right? Well, Hunter Valentine decided right then and there we would name our next album "BALLS DEEP." It just sums us up so well. Edmonton was awesome. It was probably one of our favourite shows of the tour. We crashed with Rides Again at our friend Peanuts' house, which made it three nights in a row where we have been fortunate enough to stay with people who have opened up their homes to us.

Regina was a show that got added later, and boy I am happy we added it. A) The kids were out that night; and B) All the bands went out and really gave'er at the bar after the show. Side note: we think it's fun going on tour with 15 boys. Mostly because it's amusing to watch them try and pick up girls after they play their rock shows. I mean, most of them are actually committed to a lovely lady at home, but a few aren't, and do they ever have some tricks up their sleeves. There is one boy, who will remain unnamed, that usually has a girl hanging off his arm within three minutes of getting off stage. On this particular evening at the bar, Hunter Valentine decided to stir the pot. Said boy was sitting next to "lucky girl" at a table with all of the bands on tour and lucky girl was pulling out all her "sexy" stops. So we dared one rowdy drummer from a girl band on this tour to walk up to the lucky girl and "Motor Boat" her. (The Urban Dictionary defines Motor Boat as "the act of sticking your face between a pair of one's breasts and shaking your head violently while making noises that resemble a motor boat.") This was done all in drunken slow motion and, when the drummer finally came up for air, lucky girl did not look impressed. A sorry goes out to nameless boy, as I am sure he did not get laid that night.

I am skipping through a few cities and I want to note that it's not because they weren't great, but because I am verging on writing a novel. Hamilton was the best show fan-wise. We have been going to that city for quite a while now, and it's so nice to see a gradual build-up of fans develop. Still, all cities/towns have been so great on this tour in their own little unique way. There hasn't been one place that we've visited that gave us a bad vibe. We want to thank everyone for being so nice and hospitable to us on this tour.

On the last night of the tour in Windsor, we were on stage having a great time when Bud (SoCo's tour manager) and Ben from Social Code decided they would prank us. First Bud put a giant Fabio-style fan right in front of my face so that I could barely sing, and then he proceeded to lower my microphone down to my knees. This is NOT in between songs, it is right in the middle of our last song of the set/last song of the tour! When Bud felt he was finished with me, he left the stage and Ben took over and started pranking Laura. His prank consisted of taking her drums piece by piece away until she was left with one snare and one cymbal. This made for an awesome drum roll at the end of our song "Break This." We were SHOCKED, but quickly conspired about our retaliation plan for when Social Code hit the stage. During their last song we attacked! Morgan and Travis got smothered in whip cream while they were trying to sing, Logan got crunched up crackers shoved in his caveman-like beard and a bit of whip cream rubbed into his bare head, and Laura brought out the motor boat move once again right over Ben's face while he was attempting his final drum roll! All this is happening while the other bands are pretty much stripping down to their boxers for the SoCo boys. Revenge is a bitch, Social Code! Later that night, we celebrated the end our great Canadian tour at the Chubby Pickle, where fun was had by all.

We really couldn't have toured with better people, I must say. Everyone on this tour taught us a unique lesson about music, or just this industry in general, and for that we must thank them. Rides Again are truly some of the most genuinely sweet boys we have ever met. It's so nice to meet a band that works so hard and isn't tainted by it. Tupelo Honey, what can we say? They have an incredible amount of patience for putting up with our antics (thanks for the late nights, boys... oh that sounds bad), and the head honchos, Social Code! They gave us our first touring opportunity back in the spring and it opened up our eyes. Thanks for believing in what we do. Those dudes are hombres for life.

It's been great sharing our little adventure with you, ChartAttack. Let's do it again soon!

Love Always,
Kiyomi of Hunter Valentine

Hunter Valentine will perform on MTV Live in Toronto on Dec. 20 and open for Dragonette at Toronto's Tattoo Rock Parlour on New Year's Eve.