Canadian Idol Update: #1 Hits And Misses

Kicking off the top 10 performance show, judge Zack Werner said that they were looking for the "unexpected wow factor." Unfortunately for Werner and the rest of Canada, last night's parade of adequate performances turned the show into a bit of a snooze fest.

In order to pad out the 90-minute show, every member of the top 10 had a heartwarming video of their triumphant homecoming precede the performance of a #1 hit of their choice.

As much vitriol as I hurl at Dwight D'Eon on a weekly basis, I should point out that Doreen and Melvin D'Eon are unspeakably adorable. I dislike their son's voice, but I want to hug them. In fact, I almost want him to win simply because it would make Doreen and Melvin happy.

I almost want that. Not quite, though.

D'Eon sang Matchbox 20's "Unwell" while looking very intense and wearing a crazy-ass jacket with seatbelts and hell all over. Oh, Dwight D'Eon! You are so unbelievably edgy what with your piercings and S&M wear and your Matchbox 20. D'Eon's performance was overly breathy and bar band-y, but I was mostly distracted by the fact that he was sporting a tail of some kind.

"I find it interesting that you did two Matchbox 20 songs in a row," said judge Jake Gold. It's interesting how "interesting" is the very last thing that I would call Matchbox 20.

"I would have found it more interesting if you sang it," said judge Sass Jordan, hitting the nail on the head. Werner and fellow judge Farley Flex both waxed philosophic about D'Eon's growth as an artist... blah blah blah.

Khalila Glanville's rendition of "Killing Me Softly" could so easily have strayed into Lauryn Hill's rendition of the song or even Roberta Flack's original version. But Glanville made it her own. She killed it (softly).

"You sang with a lot of intensity, a lot of control," said Flex."There was nothing that's going to make me... (the rest was obscured by boos)," said Werner.

Clad in a white trench coat and doing a cutie patootie Bond girl imitation, Carly Rae Jepsen took on Feist's "Inside And Out." (At least, I thought it was by Feist. Host Ben Mulroney informed us that The Bee Gees originally did it as "Love You Inside Out." Did I, in all of my music geekdom, know this? Nay, I did not. Canadian Idol: entertaining and educational.) What Jepsen gained in theatrics she lost in vocals. Still, the girl lights up the stage and should feel very secure in this competition.

"I didn't get it," said Werner.

"I can applaud the effort to entertain," offered Flex.

Expecting accolades and receiving criticism, Jepsen pouted prettily.

I've been extremely tough on Brian Melo. This week, he covered Tonic's "If You Could Only See," and I must admit that I didn't hate it. I mean, I didn't like it either, but Melo stepped it up a notch and had more power behind his voice than before. Still, 1997 was a pretty awkward year for music. It was also a pretty awkward year for me. We should refrain from revisiting it... ever.

"Don't aimlessly meander around the stage," instructed Werner.

"You did a great job, man," declared Gold.

"I found you a little shaky," admitted Flex.

Mila Miller should have delivered Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed And Delivered" with more sass, but the key was a bit low for her voice and she didn't give it as much power as usual. Cute outfit, though.

"Stevie Wonder — really tough song to sing," said Gold. "I don't think you did it very well. To me, it just came off like karaoke."

"I thought it was some old-school, 'Who cares?'" said Werner. "I thought we got to the top 10 in order to win, not to show up like we're at some sort of bar mitzvah."

Jaydee Bixby's coif was Dippity Doo'ed into rockabilly perfection. His vocals also gelled nicely with the Conway Twitty hit, "It's Only Make Believe." Pulling out all the matinee idol mugging he could cram into three minutes or less, Bixby made the middle-aged women in the audience squeal like tweens. The kid is pure magic.

"You're going to be one of the most famous people on this planet," predicted Flex.

Mid-show, dreamy Dave Kerr participated in a vaguely funny Telus phone skit. He continued to be non-abrasive. High five, Dave Kerr!

Greg Neufeld's homecoming video showed him kissing babies. So if Idol doesn't work out for him, he can always run for mayor of Abbotsford, British Columbia. Neufeld's cover of The Killers' "All These Things That I've Done" was awkward and weird. I don't really buy Neufeld as a twitchy, quirky rocker. The guy does wuss rock very well and should stick to that. He's not Billie Joe Armstrong; he's John Mayer. And the rock jump at the end was forced and weird looking.

"I liked that a lot," said Jordan. "You broke out of the stuff that you were doing normally and you really delivered. That was a really good performance."

"Your upper register was like nails on a chalkboard," said Werner.

Martha Joy, like D'Eon, decided to do a second song by an icky artist. While she was singing Celine Dion's "The Power Of Love," there were a few seconds where I shelved my cynicism and tried to enjoy the ride... but then it was over. The girl can absolutely sing, but that doesn't change the fact that she was singing "The Power Of Love." Anyway, my mom really likes her.

"For the most part, that was a really strong vocal performance," said Flex. "It felt like you were just milking it," said Gold.

In keeping with overplayed Canadian chanteuses, Tara Oram (who I've decided I want to befriend — she seems like a party) was next with Shania Twain's "You Win My Love." It appeared to win over the judges.

"That was the first time since the 22 started that I actually really dug what you did," said Werner.

Matt Rapley, in a slick white suit jacket, rounded out the show with Marvin Gaye's "I Heard It Through The Grapevine." At first I was cringing at the surplus of "baby baby baby" inclusions, but the strong gospel-tinged performance eventually won me right over. Hallelujah! Testify, Matt Rapley!

"You've shown a new side of yourself," said Flex, apparently carrying no hard feelings that Rapley had dipped into his personal wardrobe. "Well done."

Wednesday night: Rihanna in performance, and someone goes home. Initials DD?