Live Earth: Is Watching 26 Straight Hours Of TV Good For The Environment?

07/09/07 5:30pm

by Daniel MacRae (CHARTattack)

As you may be aware, the world is going to hell in a gas-powered basket. Pollution, global warming, dependence on oil... a bleak picture is being painted for the planet. Luckily, Al Gore and his pop star friends staged concerts across the globe on the weekend to raise awareness and push for change. ChartAttack writer Daniel MacRae stayed up for 26 straight hours watching television coverage of the event and keeping a running diary of the various goings-on. Here are his thoughts:

9:00 p.m.: We're treated to an opening video montage of environmental scenes coupled with voiceovers of warning.

9:01: It appears that the MuchMusic building in Toronto will be serving as home base for the televised proceedings. Different things will be on various channels, so we'll flip around and focus strictly on the (hopefully) good bits.

9:30: The concert begins in Sydney with indigenous Australian dancing.

9:31: Blue King Brown: BKB dole out some hyper-political roots-funk that has a toe in two-tone ska. Frontwoman Natalie Pa'apa'a tells the crowd that there's no greater strength than a people united.

10:11: Toni Collette And The Finish: The mom from The Sixth Sense has a band. They aren't particularly good and Collette looks like my aunt after six tequilas. Now she's doing a cover of "Children Of The Revolution." Ick.

11:21: Rize: The Japanese rockers play some bugged-out pseudo-punkery and the lead singer is flashing his middle digits. The initial excitement gives way as Rize then dish out some modern rock and nu-metal offerings.

11:58: The Ghostwriters: Their All Music Guide profile is both damning and funny. Much more enjoyable is Paul Kelly, an Australian folk-rocker who engages the crowd in Sydney with a host of pleasant tunes like "God Told Me To."

1:12 a.m.: Eskimo Joe: Stadium rockers at home, but unknown abroad, Eskimo Joe have this edgier Keane (not much of a feat) air about them. They do a few likable numbers and encourage the crowd to think about their future. This is followed by Missy Higgins, who sounds suspiciously like Chantal Kreviazuk. Moving on.

2:08: AI: This girl is bananas. One minute she's doing this song that sounds like "Unbreak My Heart" massaging "Back At One," then she's rapping over a dude's beatbox of Lumidee's "Never Leave You." Her banter has the crowd in hysterics and she comes across as slightly menacing.

2:45: Xzibit: X is going down a storm is Tokyo, and between songs we get gems like, "Yo planet Earth, I got two words for you... thank you!" Is Pimp My Ride environmentally friendly?

3:12: John Butler Trio: Butler talks to the crowd about the seven-point pledge and plays a mix of dinner party background music and rootsy jam stuff. My attention is divided between that and Japan's Abingdon Boys School, who wear school uniforms (including plaid dresses) and play anthemic emo rock.

3:50: Wolfmother: Giant-coiffed singer/guitarist Andrew Stockdale says "the future is in our hands." Wolfmother are environmentally friendly, as they recycle Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin into enjoyable radio rock nuggets. They're followed by Jack Johnson, who's laid-back about everything except climate change. But he seems pretty laid-back about that, too.

5:00: Linkin Park: Fans in Tokyo are going so crazy that the show gets stopped for 20 minutes to repair the barricades.

5:49: Crowded House: The kings of the Sydney leg seem built for this. Every song is a stadium-wide singalong and the power is shut off at the end of the set. The group continues on playing "Weather With You," which serves as Sydney's official "big moment."

7:28: Rihanna: After an intriguing set by dance-pop juggernaut Kumi Koda, Tokyo's closer is Rihanna. She only has three good songs and the hour of in-between filler is eye-gougingly boring. Play "Umbrella" already.

8:13: Shakira: The Hamburg leg begins while Rihanna sputters on. Shakira knows how to get things done, as she's effortlessly charming and playing her punchier stuff (including "Hips Don't Lie"). Shanghai's concert has also started, but everyone's doing grey adult contemporary songs.

8:38: Genesis: The lumpy Phil Collins and Genesis are the first official act at London, England's Wembley Stadium, and they're playing the favourites — or at least your dad's favourites.

8:52: Snoop Dogg: In direct competition is the Doggfather, who's using the word "motherfucking" quite liberally. The Sarah Brightman set in Shanghai is likely less filthy.

9:09: Razorlight: Kirsten Dunst filler Johnny Borrell is wearing a blouse. Afterwards, Snow Patrol play "Open Your Eyes" and songs that sound similar to it. Neither Razorlight nor Snow Patrol have said anything about climate change while I've been watching.

10:03: David Gray/Damien Rice: Both perform their hit songs and then team up for "Que Sera Sera." This is about as much fun as getting grandma out of the bath.

10:12: RIP Slyme: The Kyoto concert has kicked off with this Japanese rap crew throwing down an odd but fantastic set.

10:24: Kasabian: Singer Tom Meighan is either an insufferable ass or a swaggering rock god. It's most likely the former, but the crowd adores them.

11:20: Black Eyed Peas: A somewhat unhinged Will.i.am does a track specifically for the event. It's earnest, but not particularly good. Fergie does the excruciating "Big Girls Don't Cry." They're followed by John Legend, who plays "Ordinary People" and then politely leaves.

11:53: Duran Duran: "Everybody who didn't arrive on a private jet put your hands in the air," snarls Simon LeBon. He seems to geniunely give a shit and it's still a treat to hear "Girls On Film." Meanwhile, in Hamburg, a German comedian has the crowd laughing their asses off. The only words I understand are "penetration," "twin towers: explosion for men" and "George fucking you Bush."

12:37 p.m.: Red Hot Chili Peppers: Chris Rock introduces RHCP and says "motherfuckers." That's about as exciting as it gets.

1:05: Bloc Party: Does everyone still like Bloc Party? They mention the importance of following through on promises and play some great songs, including "Banquet," so everything is alright.

1:24: Corrine Bailey Rae: This Starbucks favourite does her hits and a cover of Marvin Gaye's "Mercy Mercy Me" with John Legend.

1:47: Keane: Coldplay are presumably busy, so we get Keane instead. "Somewhere Only We Know" still sounds great.

2:12: Metallica: Spinal Tap's up next, so this may all be redundant, but the crowd is giving its biggest ovation so far. Everything is pre-Load and the band's clearly loving playing at Wembley.

2:41: Spinal Tap: The Tap trot out their greatest hits (including dwarves on "Stonehenge") and bring out an army of bassists (including many of the Wembley performers) for "Big Bottom." I'm in nerd heaven.

2:59: Taking Back Sunday: The New Jersey show has started with these knobs. Their singer looks an awful lot like actor and 2005 American Idol finalist Constantine Maroulis.

3:12: Xuxa: Rio De Janeiro has kicked off their leg with this singer, who's surrounded by children in engineer and animal costumes. She's doing kiddie pop that would turn the Vengaboys into diabetics.

3:23: Beastie Boys: The Beasties are tearing the fuck out of "Root Down." Sadly, the crowd is bored and can't be bothered. Keyboardist Money Mark goes absolutely nuts during "Sabotage." The crowd prefers the following act, The Pussycat Dolls, and their tireless crusade for social change.

3:48: Ludacris: This serious thespian is bringing the hits at Giants Stadium. The crowd is remarkably indifferent and even "Move Bitch" dies a slow death as a result of the lack of energy. The camera pans to shots of drunk girls dancing suggestively during the child-rape ballad "Runaway Love." Shudder.

4:11: AFI: These guys are hilarious. If they were serious, this would just be embarrassing.

4:17/4:31: Foo Fighters/Fall Out Boy: Two bands with loads of tunes, but two different live shows. In London, the Foos have made their enormous hits into epic singalongs that has everyone in the crowd in a frenzy. A pseudo-stripped-down version of "Everlong" is particularly thrilling. In new Jersey, Fall Out Boy seem to be swallowed by playing in the big stadium.

5:02: Madonna: Madge is closing England's show with the lights turned down and Eugene and Sergey from Gogol Bordello appearing onstage to make her seem hip. Contrived, but fun.

5:45: Melissa Etheridge: She starts playing "Imagine That," which gives way to an awful, rambling speech about how great baby boomers were/are and spends a half-hour stroking them off about how great they are for "ending" the Vietnam war and impeaching Nixon.

6:18: Alicia Keys: Keys plays some new stuff and her cover of "Mercy Mercy Me."

6:51: Dave Matthews Band: DMB ladle out four songs, including "Don't Drink The Water" and "Too Much."

7:24: Kelly Clarkson: The original Idol performs an uneven set that vindicates Clive Davis and his belief that My December is a total dud.

7:50: Kanye West: He looks absolutely thrilled to be doing a stadium set. During "Touch The Sky" he runs at full speed across each end of the stage while panting out the lyrics.

8:22: Bon Jovi: Introduced to thunderous applause by Gore, the band play the fist-pumping anthems that thrill Garden State residents and annoy people with ears.

9:00: The Smashing Pumpkins: Corgan Inc. have arrived, and the most memorable part of tonight may be Billy Corgan saying, "Go out and buy our new album and not illegally download it like you did all our other albums," followed by an insincere "just kidding." He's still a dick, but "Bullet With Butterfly Wings," "Tarantula" and "Today" all sound incredible. Happy to have you back.

9:30: Roger Waters: The Pink Floyd alum is in New Jersey with his giant pig balloon. Hearing "Another Brick In The Wall" is strange, considering that the concert organizers are asking us to conform and follow rules.

10:02: The Police: The band chosen to close the Giants Stadium show pump out hits, but the results are remarkably boring. John Mayer and Kanye West join them onstage for the closer, "Message In A Bottle." West even sneaks a clumsy rap into things.

10:30: The festival ends and Gore thanks everyone.

10:31: Earth is saved.