Brooke Hogan Tries To Escape Her Dad's Hulking Shadow

01/04/07 7:30pm

by James Simons (CHARTattack)

It's hard out here for Brooke Hogan. The 18-year-old singer's Paul Wall collaboration, "About Us," may be climbing the charts like a god-damned Sherpa, but all anyone seems to care about is her famous father, wrester Hulk Hogan.

When the pair appeared on MTV Live during a press-packed Toronto trip to promote Brooke's Undiscovered debut album, audience members were too busy asking the elder Hogan to rip their vintage Hulkmania shirts to even notice his daughter.

But what does she expect? If Daniel and Alec Baldwin handled their press together, there probably wouldn't be many questions about Danny's Touched By An Angel guest spot. Later, while relaxing in Toronto's trendy Ultra Supper Club, Hulk laments the looming shadow he casts.

"I guess if she was the guy down the street working on the electric pole, it might be easier for her. But she's got to really prove herself."

Sure, Brooke isn't guaranteed to be a dance-pop star the way most electrical workers are, but, coming from entertainment royalty, she enjoys some perks. Thanks to her family's hit show, Hogan Knows Best, for example, the singer has become a reality television star without even having to sleep with Flavor Flav.

"People come up and ask me about certain things that happened in my life," she says. "And I'm like, how do they know about that? Oh yeah, it was filmed."

Unfortunately, though it's all well and good to have a camera crew at the bathroom door as you take a dump, Brooke also attracts lenses outside the home.

"I was in Payless shopping for my dancers' shoes, and there was this little guy in the shoe aisle and he's like, 'I'm not here.' And I'm like, 'Yes, you are.'"

The resulting picture has generated a storm of OMGs and LOLs amongst judgmental internet geeks, prompting the popular tabloid blog The Hollywood Gossip to joke, "Keep buying shoes that are cheaper than Petra Nemcova. It'll give you something to do other than go back in the recording studio. And we're all grateful for that."

But Brooke has also attracted her share of positive attention, especially of the I-want-to-bang-you variety. According to Hulk, Playboy approached him about featuring his daughter back when she was only 16. (Dakota Fanning's schedule was apparently too busy.)

Luckily, this is Hulk-motherfucking-Hogan, the same guy who once threw Rocky Balboa out of the ring. He can certainly handle Brooke's horny suitors.

"There was one ugly scene," Hulk remembers. "This guy made me go down that road and say, 'Are you sexually active, brother? Have you had an AIDS test?' I was brutal. But he was really cocky and confrontational, not respectful the way you are."

Yep, Hulk Hogan called me respectful. He also extended our interview by an additional 15 minutes, telling his media contact, "Leave us alone, we're talking guy talk."

You hear that? I talked "guy talk" with Hulk Hogan! All those years as the treasurer of an all-girl Mark Paul Gosselaar fan club, and now I'm manly enough to talk guy talk with the most guyest of guys.

See, that's the Hulk's trick. He makes you feel so damn good, you'll do anything he says. Because of him, most of us have spent the past two decades training, saying our prayers, eating vitamins and believing in ourselves when all we really wanted to do was binge on Big Macs while cursing God and wallowing in self-hate. You better believe he can make us love his daughter as well.

Brookemania may never overtake Hulkamania. But with her dad in her corner, charmingly ripping his shirt and beating his chest, the singer's bound to win a few fights.