Canadian Idol: No Bartles, No McMaster, And Now No James

Another Tuesday, another Canadian Idol elimination. Same day, different shit. Only this time, some hot people who were supposed to sit in the ever-visible front row didn't show, meaning that this lukewarm reporter got the chance to sit shotgun behind the judges' table.

After weeks of slumming it in Row O along with random prepubescent chicks trying to bone Brandon Jones, the promotion was a giant honour. Up close, host Ben Mulroney looked even more like the fake-tanned Dorian Gray to Paul Anka's reluctantly aging portrait. In his typically sharp, self-deprecating way, the host acknowledged this fact, attributing his constantly kempt appearance to the fact that he's a robot.

Speaking of robots, do you hate the song "Mr. Roboto?" Well, try hearing it in a medley with "Lady" and "Come Sail Away" while the entire crowd waves their arms back and forth like extras from some Mr. Big video shoot. After this painful medley from Styx singer Dennis DeYoung, as well as a little Gap commercial deja vu courtesy of Supertramp's Roger Hodgson, Mulroney got down to business.

At the time, seven Idols sat on stage pretending that they weren't on the verge of tears. By the end of the episode, however, only six would remain.Predicting the show's outcome becomes more and more difficult each week. This episode was no different. If anyone deserved the boot, it was probably Chad Doucette, whose adenoidal wails and constipated singing face have grown slightly tiresome.

Another likely pick seemed to be R&B crooner Rob James. Not only has James turned in very similar — though progressively better — upbeat Rock&B performances over the last few weeks, but he's also the oldest in the competition. Hell, the dude was opening for *NSYNC as part of the McMaster And James back when Chris Brown was still dancing in amniotic fluid. In an election where teenieboppers are some of the most politically active members of society, James' age could potentially be his downfall.

Sure enough, James entered the bottom two along with Steffi D. If eliminated, James (a Jiffy smooth performer with a charming smile) would be sorely missed, but not nearly as much as D, the competition's most intriguing performer aside from Ashley Coulter. Luckily, God took some time out of his daily schedule of overseeing wars and natural disasters to ensure that D would return again next week.

As for James, Mulroney sincerely thanked the performer for his time on the show and stressed that his career is far from over.

"Week after week," the host said, "you've moved out of your shadow, you've moved out of your past and you've become this great, fantastic performer with a smile that everyone loves and a voice that people do remember.

"Whatever success you think you enjoyed as a part of a duo is nothing compared to what you will enjoy on your own."