Canadian Idol: Which Women Will Stick?

After this week, only 10 Canadian Idol contenders will remain. But regardless of which performers get voted off the island, everyone on Monday night agreed that it's been one hell of a ride.

In the words of Steffi D, the experience has been "off the hook, if I can say that." No, D, you can't say that. And while we're on the subject, you can't cover songs from She's All That either. No one listens to me.

Quicker than you can say "Freddie Prinze Jr. is dreamy," the big D took the stage to serenade male competitor Brandon Jones with a charmingly theatrical version of Sixpence None The Richer's "Kiss Me."

D has stage presence and a commanding Liza Minelli-style voice, but she doesn't have the best range. It's not that the singer hits the wrong notes, she just always chooses safe ones within a very limited mid-range register.

Still, judge Sass Jordan loved the performance, calling the singer "charming, sweet, innocent and corny — which I like."

Host Ben Mulroney, on the other hand, seemed more interested in the sparks between D and Jones. Were they an item? Would they be interested in a threesome? You know, stuff like that.

Ashley Coles came next with an unconfident and unimpressive cover of Aretha Franklin's "Think." When Jordan complimented Coles' dress, it was clear that the judge was unmoved by her performance.

You know when you ask your friend if some girl is attractive and he avoids the subject by saying that she has a great personality? On Canadian Idol, it's the opposite. If the judges comment on your physical appearance, chances are that you're the reason why they invented the mute button.

Sure enough, Jordan told Coles that her song choice was "a tall order." Meanwhile, judge Zack Werner said, "You kind of made me think one of the contestants on Nashville Star thought they were on Soul Train and just dialed the wrong number."

Ashley Coulter followed Coles by singing the Willie Nelson-penned Patsy Cline hit, "Crazy." Though it was great to see the performer move away from bar songs, her new choice was equally irrelevant to Idol's target audience.

Werner reinforced the fact that they're looking for a winner who will make young and fun radio-ready music, and noted that he was hoping for a Joan Jett tune.

No one had anything negative to say about Nancy Silverman's foghorn of a voice. The singer warbled and flailed through Sarah McLachlan's "Stupid," leading judge Jake Gold to call her "mesmerizing."

Like Silverman, Eva Avila is a natural performer. While singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," Avila looked and moved like an actual pop star, not your typical Canadian Idol dial-a-celebrity fluke.

Unfortunately, as judge Farley Flex said, "I think there are some mountains that might be too high, and some valleys that might be too low, and I think that was the case here."

The same could be said for Kati Durst. Sure, Durst sang like her life depended on it, but generally, when your life depends on a song, you're too busy wondering why the fuck someone would kill you over a cover of "She Talks To Angels" to really hit the notes.

As the ever-perceptive Werner said, "Sometimes the intensity can overshadow your technique. You wanted that thing so bad that your pitch went to hell in a hand-basket."

Luckily, there wasn't a hell-bound hand basket in sight when Sarah Loverock took the stage. Loverock isn't the most charismatic performer, but she's the best singer. Still, Werner said he wasn't sure if he could picture her as the next Idol. With any luck, Loverock will be able to show us what it's all about in next week's top 10.