Canadian Idol: The Public Eliminates Its First Four Contestants

From Nickelback to Eddie Money to Sixpence None The Richer, the public has made a lot of crappy musicians wealthy. But the masses aren't always as blind as the phrase "Hammer Time" would have you believe.

During Wednesday's Canadian Idol, more than two million viewers voted to knock four performers from the top 22 and, surprisingly, they chose pretty wisely. The eliminated competitors were... Oh no, you're not finding out that easy. (Cue nerve-shattering music and mental image of each contestant nervously shitting him or herself.) OK, let's do this:

First off, host Ben Mulroney singled out the four least popular guys: Sheldon Elter, Rob James, Jeremy Koz and Nathan Brown. Of the four, Brown seemed like the most obvious choice. From the start, he's been a bit of a Jan Brady, blending into the background while jealously whining, "Ben Mulroney, Ben Mulroney, Ben Mulroney!"

In fact, when the performer first appeared in the top 200, judge Zack Werner said he didn't even remember giving him a ticket. Elter also seemed like a likely choice, particularly after his slightly awkward Monday night performance. But with his casual charm and attractive smile, which is big enough to make Pat Boone look like Trent Reznor, Elter would be missed.

On the other hand, the competition could probably do without Koz's customized tuxedo jackets and constipated Chad Kroeger emoting. Nevertheless, the singer has a unique physical style and a fair amount of skill, meaning it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine Koz riding his own coattails to the top 10.

But James? James? Canadian Idol without the full-voiced James would be like Brad Pitt without Angelina Jolie or Marlon without Damon, Keenen, Kim and Shawn Wayans. Hell, it would be like Luke McMaster without, um, well, James. By the way, where the hell is McMaster these days?

Anyway, those were the four least popular guys. The four weakest lady links were Alyssa Klazek, Steffi D, Valerie Jalbert and Anna-Belle Oliva.

Klazek and D weren't huge surprises. For starters, the judges uniformly attacked the former's unimpressive Tuesday performance. And D's jazzy song choices and flapper fashion are, like, so 1924.

As for the other two, it certainly wasn't some "Holy shit, Bruce Willis is dead, and I guess that kid really does see dead people" sized shock to see them in the bottom four. Still, Jalbert's overly theatrical Tuesday night performance didn't seem bad enough to guarantee a ticket home and Oliva has been a fairly strong contender all along.

Still, someone had to go. And who would that someone be? All right, here comes the big pay-off: James and Elter... got to stay, while Koz and Brown were eliminated. Meanwhile, on the girls' side, Oliva and Jalbert... packed up their things, while Klazek and D stuck around.

In retrospect, things worked out pretty well for the guys. James and Elter are both very likeable and would have been sorely missed. The ladies' results were a little more disappointing, however. While D might prove to be a versatile contender, it will be a big surprise if Klazek surpasses her mediocre past performances. It's also important to note that the two least popular women were the competition's two French contestants, causing one to think that our anglo-centric country might not have been motivated by skill alone.

Nevertheless, the results could have been a lot worse. And maybe next week they will be.