Gene Simmons Becomes The Tony Robbins Of Rock

07/21/04 4:00pm

by David Missio (CHARTattack)

Who's that guy up on stage, how did he get so rich, why has he slept with more women than most guys have seen in their entire lives and how do the rest of us get in on this action?

Meet Gene Simmons, motivational speaker. Of course, it all started with KISS. While KISS could grab a sold out stadium by the balls and rock them all night (after partying all day), could a lone Gene Simmons be anywhere near as successful?

Musically, no. His first solo effort (released in 1978) was arguably the weakest released by any member of the band (Ace Frehley and Paul Stanley made decent efforts and Peter Criss gave it his best shot) but at least on that album he provided some comic relief with his heartfelt rendition of "When You Wish Upon A Star."

With some carefully constructed lyrics for his recent solo album, Asshole (like, "You got a personality, yeah, just like a bucket full of pee") it doesn't take much to thank Stanley for much of KISS' greatness. Still, when it comes to business (and, if you believe his claims, the ladies), Simmons is about as successful as one can get.

Now rock 'n' roll's ultimate sell-out is about to release both a DVD and CD of his motivational speaking tour to encourage every last one of us to live life the Simmons way. The tour, dubbed Speaking In Tongues, allowed Simmons to get in front of audiences throughout Australia and let them in on his personal philosophies on life. While those lucky Aussies are now running amuck, raking in the dough and sleeping with anything that moves, we here in North America are left scratching our heads, wishing that we too could live the American dream.

Thankfully, before September is over, the secret will be out and we'll all be partying every day. With topics ranging from money and success to fame and women, Simmons is just your regular average Joe who just wants to let his fellow man in on the best way to live.

On August 24, a DVD will be released (followed by a CD on September 28) that chronicles Simmons' motivational speaking tour throughout the land Down Under. To further tantalize fans into following his teachings, Simmons has included a Cribs-style video that will show off his fabulous home and his charming family, along with some cut-throat business dealings. Plus, if the aforementioned solo albums weren't enough for you, over 10 unreleased Simmons songs from the '70s through to the '90s will also be included.

That's more Gene than you can shake a tongue at.