Warrant News: A Down Boy Sells Soap!

Hair-metal's patron saints Warrant might've been dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking rich in 1989, but fast-forward to 2002, take away the dirty, the rotten, the filthy... hell, even the stinkin' rich part, and we've now seen that their own bassist wants to finally teach a hygiene lesson to all you smelly metalheads.

Jerry Dixon (a.k.a. the Warrant dude with the really thick dark eyebrows) is selling soap on his website, ladies and gentlemen. He's also selling his own paintings, but who gives a crap about that? Anyone can dunk their ass in paint, smudge it on a canvas and call it art. But soap is different. Yes, for the reasonable price of $10 American you can purchase his own brand of heart-shaped translucent soap, with Dixon's own guitar pick inside.

Talk about a crackerjack surprise!

Besides, isn't the prize of the guitar pick hidden inside just a great ploy to have Warrant fans scrub their dirty and sweaty skin red-raw to the bone after hours of dancing and grinding to "Cherry Pie"? Yeah, you're gonna need to wash yourself after listening to that...

But anyway, supposedly these bars of Jerry Dixon Soap are selling like hotcakes on the web. Maybe 34-year-old Dixon should quit his night job of rockin' and whorin' as an original member of Warrant in lieu of this rub-a-dub business venture. Not only has Warrant lost the hair and youth rebellion they once had, they're not filling out stadiums anymore. They do still continue to tour clubs around the world — the band's last stop was in Wisconsin where they played with yet another grand hair band of the late '80s and early '90s, Slaughter.

Warrant's last release was '99s Greatest & Latest which included their #1 ballad "Heaven." Remember now, heaven isn't too far away, no matter what your friends might say, we'll find a way. For Jerry Dixon, heaven just might be in a bar of soap.