Chart/NXNE Kick-Off Party Massacre

It's the only party you can attend where you can bitch out the host.

Capt. White Bread was sitting in the corner diligently taking notes from the plethora of complainers, er, sorry, bands, record labels and assorted industry folk last night at the Chart magazine North By Northeast launch party.

A peace accord has been agreed to during the party between our favourite whipping boy J. Englishman and ChartAttack. We agreed to not pick on him as much, while he promised not to give us purple nurples or make crank phone calls to our office. We'll see who breaks the cease-fire first.

M&M was heard uttering, "If last year was all about the penis this year it's all ass." Spotted with their pants around their ankles or willing dropping them for our camera were Todd Knight of Smoother and Robin Black, who was dropping his drawers in an effort to woo a friend of the Portuguese Princess. Also caught with their pants down were M&M and Punk Rawk Daddy. This ties last year's total of four penis spotted.

Sadly, the hunky David Usher kept his pants on, but we were just happy he attended for a second year in a row considering he's been really busy preparing to release his sophomore solo effort on July 24. Usher took a break from the planning and implementing to down some drinks with us.

Also schmoozing from Moist was Kevin Young. Capt. White Bread was disappointed that he missed our favourite rocker chicks Kim Bingham (Mudgirl/David Usher backing band) and Tara White from Elevator. One tip that was given to M&M last night from a teenager from the USA was that he should listen to Elevator on acid with headphones on to comprehend what that band is doing. Frankly, even this harden veteran knows when something is just to damn dangerous.

Other interesting gossip supplied by the teenager from the USA was that Linc from The Weekend was heading into the studio to lay down some keyboard parts for Robin Black And The Intergalactic Rock Stars. Apparently Linc was happy to be allowed to drink and smoke weed before recording, as his "mom" Andrea Wasse doesn't allow that. Guess she won't be working with Gggarth Richardson, who she was hanging with.

M&M "apparently" was toking doobies two by two in the basement of the bar with the Smoother boys. He claimed to the security dude, who asked, "Are you guys smoking pot down here?" that he wasn't... at the moment they asked. The bouncers could have sworn that they were, but since they couldn't find the person holding the joint in the palm of their hand, they let it go.

Thankfully, like M&Ms, weed melts in your mouth not in your hand. To cover the smell up they then smoked a bowl of hash, while they watched lead vocalist Andrew Franey attempt to figure out the un-labeled washroom doors.

Even though they weren't performing this weekend, Montreal's The Dears were in town to chill with us. Murray Lightburn is part of a NXNE panel on film scores so they did have another reason to be in Toronto, but we'd like to think it was because we throw a good party. Also not performing, but still in da house was Keith Maurik from another favourite band of ours, Maximum RNB.

Not sure if our reputation has stretched as far as the U.K., but nu sensitive artist Matthew Jay flew in from London. He's here all weekend, but we suspect he was in attendance to drink Budweiser, and not the uber cool vodka drinks that were almost all vodka. Somehow we didn't think this U.K. "bed wetter" would drink such a macho beer, but it's starting to change our opinion about him.

Making our way down the bar into the prime real estate location we spotted Moe Berg. From his vantage-point he could take in the whole room, including watching who was coming in and who was going out. A veteran on the party circuit he's one guy to keep an eye on as years of experience have taught him where to be at a party, obviously.

There was no feuding that ended in fistfights, but the potential was there. Plasma Blast were looking to take the glam tiara away from Robin Black, but after "Mr Fucking" kissed M&M on the lips it's doubtful that'll ever happen. Former members of Sinclaire badmouthed the Portuguese Princess about the article she did on their break up, but she's used to people talking behind her back.

Keeping it real was MC Flipside who's part of the big rave with D12 on Canada Day in Toronto. The Special Guests sauntered in and held court with the person who's reviewing their gig tonight at Lee's Palace, The Keener.

The following group of people hung out until we got kicked out. Yawd from Wayne Omaha and his friend Kurt Swinghammer. Lil Miss Jerk and her crew along with The Universal Music Canada Posse, who did their label proud by showing us that they truly do know how to have fun. Toronto radio station The Edge's Lovely Lana snapped some ass shots of M&M that she claims will end up on the station's hall of fame. Having warned them ahead of time, Queen Smarty Pants thankfully turned her head away.

As per usual we were stoned and dethroned at the end of the night, but kept going anyway. Our motto this year is, "A mutha fuckah needs to eat." Bring on the BBQs (we're serious.)