Guided By Voices Take The Rock Geek Elitist Quiz

04/27/01 5:30pm

The night of their gig in Toronto on Wednesday (April 25), Guided By Voices held a pre-party party or what is commonly known as a "meet and greet." It was during this that ChartAttack's M&M was introduced to Bob Pollard as the "guy who will be interviewing you tomorrow at Mike Bullard." His response, "We've been taking interviews up the ass, come up with something good." Frightened by someone who could be described as your dad, but possibly cooler, M&M came into the office worried, until he came up with the idea to administer the, "Are You A Rock Geek Elitist?" quiz found in our happening November issue. The results are more surprising then you'd think.1. Do you feel that Jon Spencer is too mainstream?GBV (working together): [Burst of laughter.] "Yes, but he has grown that beard though."2. If you own records by BOTH parties in any combination of the following artists give yourself the appropriate number of points? (Oddly, they didn't do too well with this question.)a) Depeche Mode and Kraftwerk "Only Kraftwerk."b) Spiritualized and The Verve "Yes."c) Wilco and Blue Rodeo "No"d) Low and Copyright "No"e) Kish and DMX "No"3) Do you agree with the statement "Elephant 6 rocks?"[Burst of laughter.] Robert Pollard, "That's a statement?!" [more laughter] "Do those two words actually go together?"4) Do you know who Alan McGee is?Robert Pollard: "Ya, he used to be our boss, but we don't know what he looks like."5) Have you ever thought of hosting your own campus radio show or DJ night so you can "actually play good music?" Bonus give yourself 2 points for every year you actually HAVE hosted your own campus radio show.Note: None of them claimed to have done this, until Doug Gilliard admitted to hosting a show. "It was at an actual radio station though and for six years." Robert Pollard then asks, "Do you have the question, 'Have you ever made a compilation tape from someone?'" We didn't think of this question when we wrote the quiz, but it sparked a great debate."I've done that before," says Greg Demos. "People make compilation tapes for me and I'm like 'How dare you?'" says Pollard, with a hearty laugh.We've all made them for girls that we like."Then they go and resent you for it." Alright, back to the quiz...6) Do you try to avoid going to see shows in big arenas?
GBV: "No one playing arenas is worth seeing these days, anyway."Pollard: "I used to like going to arena shows, but I try and avoid going to see shows period. It's too much like going to the office on your day off." [hearty laugh]
GBV: "Plus everybody sucks and they're too loud."7) Have you ever seen the following movies?a) High Fidelity
GBV: "Yes, but we didn't like it."b) Almost Famous
GBV: "Yes."c) Sid And Nancy
GBV: "Yes." They then go into do a great parody of Nancy screaming, "Sid."
[Bladder bursting laughter.]d) Gimme Shelter
GBV: "Yes. Just saw it a few days ago for the first time. Great movie."e) Ladies And Gentlemen The Stains
Pollard: "That's a movie?"8) Do you still own more than three Sub Pop records?Pollard: "I must say I have all those early singles. I didn't sell them." [Burst of laughter] "It was pretty good stuff."He also collected the bonus by owning more than 10 Sup Pop records.9) Do you own records by any of the following: Tortoise, Six By Seven, Laika, Guided By Voices, Sianspheric?[burst of laughter] "That's all we play. Was that question about us really on there?"
Yes.
"That's cool." b>They didn't own any of the records except for GBV.10) Do you consider Rancid sell-outs?GBV: "Ya, totally. They're nice guys, but they're like the Clash the first time around.11) Do you hate the band Korn?GBV: "Ya, they make us ill." 12) Give yourself 1 point for each of the following statements that are true:a) You love Nevermind but hate "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
GBV: "True! I didn't hate it at first, but they played too much."b) Too many "kids" like Nine Inch Nails these days.
GBV: "Yes!" [burst of laughter]c) The Red Hot Chili Peppers suck.
GBV: "No doubt. Can we get more than one point."d) I've seen Peaches and/or one of her entourage's genitalia.
GBV: "Who? We have no idea who she is? Is she like Lil Kim."e) Crowd surfing is for idiots.
GBV: "I kinda like it. It's not something I would do. But we don't care as long as you come to the shows."f) The Beach Boys are better than The Rolling Stones.
GBV: "I like Beach Boys a lot, but come on, The Rolling Stones? Brian Wilson is the Keith Richards of rock." [laughter]
A mini argument begins to start, but the next statement throws them overboard.
g) The Beatles are better than The Rolling Stones.
GBV: "YES. NO." [laughter]
Pollard: "The Stones copied every move off The Beatles except their image. Every record was copied from The Beatles."h) You've argued with someone whether or not The Beatles are better than The Rolling Stones.
GBV: "We're having that fight right now." [laughter] "That's a tough one."i) People who don't like the music you listen to are uncool.
GBV: "Ya. That's why they make crap compilations." [laughter]j) Your favourite band's songs are NEVER played on the radio.
GBV: "You hear The Stones sometimes."13) Have you heard of the record labels Secretly Canadian and Teenage USA?GBV: "We've heard of Secretly Canadian, but not Teenage USA."14) Do you know which of these bands two labels is based in the United States and which is Canadian?GBV: "Secretly Canadian are American."15) Do you consider godspeed you black emperor! a better band than Creed? Note: Changed to Creed from Matthew Good Band because GBV are YanksGBV: "We've heard of godspeed you black emperor! But they're better than Creed."16) Do you agree with the statement "vinyl rules."GBV: "Yes."Guided By Voices scored a grand total of 46 points earning them the title of Rock Geek Elitist. It should be mentioned for this story that we pulled the point system as we want to keep some things secret. Those readers who are savvy enough can pull out your November issue. Also, they should get some bonus points for owning the largest collection of GBV material and "working" for Alan McGee. Also of note, our own Rock Geek Elitist and the man who reviewed the latest GBV album, Isolation Drills scored a whooping 76. So maybe GBV aren't as geeky as they're portrayed in print. -Matt Mernagh