The year has already been blessed with some of the decade's best rap, but then this golden gift appears. Bask in it. One day, your grandkids will ask you about 2016 and the Summer of Auctioneer Beats.
It's one of those distinctly internetty jewels formed by chance encounter, like the infinite monkeys and their typewriters churning out Shakespeare. A Chicago Vine user named Auctioneer Beats takes recordings of cattle auctioneers from places like Prince Albert, Saskatchewan; Petersburg, Tennessee; and Wilmot, Ohio, and fastens their bid calling/explosive flow to hip-hop beats.
Some are breezy trap numbers, others are EDM crossovers that beg for a laser show and megaclub rotation. All are bangers. Listen to some favourites below and find them all here.
This isn't even the first time some genius producer got the idea. Two years ago, German sound designer David Kamp introduced the rap world to Rhett Parks of Whitewood Livestock with the album Livestock Cattle Rap Sessions 2014.
Dear Weird Internet, keep being you.