Morrissey List of the Lost Bad Sex in Fiction

Morrissey wins the Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Morrissey and his "bulbous salutation" win literary (dis)honour.

- Dec 2, 2015

Each year since 1993, British literary magazine Literary Review has given the Bad Sex in Fiction Award to an author "who has produced an outstandingly bad scene of sexual description in an otherwise good novel." This year, the honour belongs to Morrissey. Last of the Famous International Playboys, perhaps he isn't.

Moz's debut novel, List of the Lost — about, briefly, a '70s Boston relay team and a demon — garnered mostly negative reviews. The Daily Beast called it a "bizarre misogynistic ramble." "An unpolished turd," said a reviewer for The Guardian. "A leaden festival of self-pity," reads The Independent's headline.

The award was announced Tuesday at the In & Out Club (lol) in London. The paragraph that won it for the judges — a long dry-hump of a run-on, really — is copied below. Like bad sex, it just kinda heaves and heaves and heaves its sweaty mass without getting anywhere.

“Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”


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