Move over, Epic Meal Time. You have a challenger in the awesome internet cooking shows department: Vegan Black Metal Chef.
It’s exactly what it sounds like, except it’s considerably much more incredible than you think. Yes, it’s a vegan black metal guy cooking, but it goes above and beyond your average cooking shows in that it’s not just someone yacking into a camera about how to make food.
The first thing you’ll notice is that yeah, Vegan Black Metal Chef is narrating all the instructions in black metal grunts. Yes, they’re subtitled in case you’re watching this with your grandma and she can’t tell what the fuck he’s saying.
Secondly, all of Vegan Black Metal Chef’s cooking utensils have pretty significant black metal cred, ’cause all of his knives are mean-looking, and look like badass scythes or medieval weaponry.
But it’s kind of a let down that Vegan Black Metal Chef smashes up peanuts for Pad Thai — which he can be seen doing below in the show’s first episode — with a rolling pin. That’s totally not black metal! It could at least have some metal prongs or studs on the end of something, right? Or be made of metal? But no; it’s a fuckin’ wooden rolling pin.
In case the Vegan Police are reading this, no, Vegan Black Metal Chef’s armbands aren’t made of leather; they’re made of rubber. No animals were slaughtered in the making of his armory…. that he knows of, anyway. But that sugar? Hope it’s not commercial white sugar, ’cause that shit’s processed with animal bone char…
Check out the first episode of Vegan Black Metal Chef below, and if you’re good at black metal grunts, maybe you can even “sing” along!