Rating The Christmas Parties

12/11/08 4:58pm

by Steve McLean (CHARTattack)

Mon. Dec. 1: My Christmas Party

It featured Julian Koster playing Chrismas carols on a singing saw and his own songs on a banjo. Many of my friends were in attendance, as was Santez. I had a well-stocked fridge and bar, and guests also brought their own alcohol. There were shooters and potato chips and Cheesies to snack on. There was Christmas music of a non-traditional variety. I gave away CDs and DVDs and raised $172 for the Kidney Foundation Of Canada. MuchMusic covered it. We were going to watch the Flaming Lips' Christmas On Mars, but people were having so much fun that we didn't get around to it.

I'm obviously biased, but I give this party a 5/5 rating.

Mon. Dec. 8: Telus BlackBerry Storm 9530 Smartphone Launch

It featured a 12-song performance by Stars and Broken Social Scene's Brendan Canning playing DJ. There was an open bar and a nice variety of food, including lamb chops, salmon, noodles, shrimp, oysters, vegetables and thinly sliced prosciutto on bread. There was quite a bit of eye candy. I was given a swag bag with: a Stars T-shirt; an Arts & Crafts sampler CD; a small, stuffed beaver (or maybe it's an otter); some chocolate; and the new BlackBerry Storm, with a $250 airtime credit and an international roaming card.

This party might have earned a higher rating, but I decided not to keep the phone, so it gets a 4.5/5.

Wed. Dec. 10: Ontario Teachers' Federation President's Reception

It was hard to beat the food: vegetables, bread, dips, fruit, sweet potato fries, spring rolls, sausage rolls, chicken and beef skewers, shrimp, mini pizza slices, meatballs and cheese. And you have to love being able to put shooters in your pockets. But there was no entertainment and, unfortunately, the only person I knew was OTF president Joe Lamoureux.

On the basis of the food and drinks, this party gets a 4/5 rating.

Thurs. Dec. 11: VideoFACT Holiday Party

There was lots of Chinese food: vegetarian spring rolls, shrimp dumplings, steamed pork dumplings, pan fried vegetarian dumplings, sweet and sour pork with pineapple, crispy chicken Cantonese style, stir fried noodles with bean sprouts and vegetable fried rice. You needed tickets to get alcohol, but I was given two upon entering and other attendees passed some of theirs on to me so I ended up with half-a-dozen. Entertainment was provided by 10 music videos, some of which I actually enjoyed. There was a gift bag, but I won't use anything that was in it.

Bonus points are awarded for the presence of VideoFACT's Bev McKee, a cool chick and friend who hugged me a couple of times, which earns this party a 4/5 rating.

Mon. Dec. 15: Gibson Dark Fire Les Paul Guitar Launch

I missed the guitar demonstration and a three-song set by The Trews, but discovered a tasty new cocktail. I took home a bottle opener. While I missed much of the food, what little I had was good. Nanci Malek was a fine hostess.

My decision to stay late at the office postponed my arrival and made me miss the above-mentioned things. But since these ratings are based solely on my experiences, I can't give credit for things I didn't witness, which unfortunately reduces this party to a 3.5/5.

Thurs. Dec. 18: IllScarlett/SOCAN #1 Party

There was an open bar and some great foo, including shrimp, oysters, vegetable and cheese skewers, nachos and salsa, calamari, chicken skewers, French onion soup and steak on toast. IllScarlett received awards, but didn't perform. I only knew a few people in attendance, so that combined with the lack of entertainment drops the rating of this party to a 4/5.

Fri. Dec. 19: White Cowbell Oklahoma "X-mess RnR Worship & Cross-dimensional Carnage" Show

The band promised:
UNPRECEDENTED BOOGIE-ROCK VIRTUOSITY!!!
RnR LEGIONS, HUNGRY FOR BLOOD!!!
CHERISHED HOLIDAY TRADITIONS, SULLIED!!!
LITHE BODIES, CORSETS UNFASTENED!!!
DARKEST OF ARTS FROM THE UNDERWORLD, UNLEASHED!!!

We got some of that — plus a big-dicked, pissing Santa — which gives this party a 3/5 rating.

Sat. Dec. 20: King-Cohen-Aubrecht Holiday Open House And The Skydiggers

This was kind of a three-part party. There were lots of food, drink and friends, and donations were collected for the Daily Bread Food Bank, at the first. I got a prime vantage point to enjoy a Skydiggers performance at the Horseshoe Tavern at the second. And I received a Fred Sanford "You big dummy" T-shirt at the third. Put them all together and you get a 4.5/5 evening.

Sun. Dec. 21: Daveed Flexer's Chanukah Party

This was my first Chanukah party, so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, except that I would be fed latkes. And Mr. Flexer was slaving over the stove making sure there were lots of the potato pancakes to go around. They were just as good as when my non-Jewish grandmother used to make them for me as a kid, and I also discovered that they mix well with soya sauce. There was also lots of sushi, bread, vegetables, dip, cheese, crackers and other appetizers. The host, Paul White and my friend Frank were the only people I knew, but I met some interesting folks while enjoying a few beers. My first Chanukah party earns a 3.5/5 rating.

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