Alright, now I'm going to give you guys some topics at random and you can rant away on them. First, who's the perfect woman?

M: I think we can tell you who the perfect woman is. M & D (in unison): Shania Twain.

M: Oh yeah, man. That's the kind of woman I look at and I have no overtly disgusting sexual desire for. I could just fall asleep next to that woman. She's the greatest.

D: She's just so photogenic.

M: I don't know. Just from her career, her past. We're very pro-Shania.

I read somewhere that inbreeding is on the rise for the first time in hundreds of years - and it's occurring in urban centres, not rural areas. Any comment?

M: You're looking at two examples of that.

Limp Bizkit?

M: Great.

D: Great.

M: Mindless. Marketed well. Put together to feed to the kids. Watching them eat it is just so, so funny.

The millennium?

M: Bullshit.

D: It's not the millennium.

M: No shit. What, 17 per cent of the planet thinks it is?

D: This is just another example of what you were saying earlier about Western civilization thinking they're the centre of the universe. They think that something awful is going to happen on the date we happen to have chosen to be a round number.

M: Just because some longhair who was stapled to a couple of telephone poles happened to die in a specific year, 2,000 years later the world's going to end.

D: He didn't even die in that year.

M: How many people live in China? Three billion? You figure their New Year is a month and a bit after ours so... I'd say we're a little off on that.

The Vancouver Canucks?

M: I don't think they'll be moved.

D: The Canucks are a touchy thing in print.

M: Man, we're looking at just a dark, dark period in Vancouver Canucks hockey.

D: Matt, let's just be positive for a minute. This is our year, man! This is the one!

M: The whole way! The whole fuckin' way! Me and Dave say that every

September, and by October 22nd we're basically sitting at my house with guns pointed at each other's heads.

Teen horror flicks?

M: I don't see that they're any different than Porky's or Ferris Bueller.

D: They were better when we were 14.

M: I don't know, man, it's all the same.

Who's hotter in Hole? Melissa or Samantha? M & D (in unison): Samantha.

D: Samantha's a sweetheart. I jammed with Samantha backstage at the end of EdgeFest in Vancouver.

The new Star Wars movie?

M: I think you've got a movie that's tried to capture a whole other generation's imagination instead of an already pre-existing market. How do you reinvent that kind of hype? Kids today aren't taking it to town like we did when it first came out because it's not for them. They can go out and rent the trilogy. I think he [George Lucas] did a piss-poor job with it. I think there was so much more that could be done and he just blew it.

D: You just have to realize it's a kids film, and it's not going to live up to the hype.

Anything else you want to add?

D: I think Matt should be voted the sexiest Canadian Musician by Chart Magazine this year.

M: This is our year, baby. We're going all the way.

It's going to be done strictly by website votes.

M: Well then I'm fucked.

D: Organize your people Matt.

M: I'd have to untie them. Allow them access to a computer. Most of them are illiterate anyway.

D: We don't give them sharp objects.

M: Ever.

Interview by Aaron Brophy

For more on Matthew Good Band, check out the October '99 edition of Chart magazine.