Drummer Jokes With Our Lady Peace's Jeremy Taggart

Jeremy Taggart of Our Lady Peace is a drummer. This basically makes him a punchline of life.

We here at CHARTattack aren't above poking a guy where he's sensitive, though, so we hit the Taggulator with a bunch of drummer jokes. Here's what happened:

CHARTattack: Here's a few of my favourite drummer jokes. How can you tell if the drum riser is level?
Jeremy Taggart: I think I know this one... I can't remember. Hit me with the punchline.

There's drool coming out of both sides of his mouth.
That's the one! That's a good one. That's alright. And oldie but a goldie.

What do you call a drummer that broke up with his girlfriend?
I know this one. A guitar player?

Not quite. Take your time.
(laughing) Homeless?

There you go.
How do you know a drummer's knocking at your door?

The knocking speeds up?
I was gonna say it slows down, but yeah.

Or he doesn't know when to come in.
Yeah, another good one. My favourite drummer joke of all time: Tommy Lee's life.

That's just mean.
Isn't that a good one?

That's a good one. What do Ginger Baker and coffee have in common?
What?

They both suck without Cream.
Ah, man, that's terrible. What about those Blind Faith records? Ginger Baker is badass! He was also in Hawkwind!

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A singer?

Gifted.
Gifted? Oh, there you go! Nice! All those drummers who became singers, like Chris Cornell and Peter Gabriel and Freddy Mercury.

Or what's-his-face from The Eagles…
Yeah, Don Henley.

Right, Don Henley. This is my favourite: what did the drummer use for birth control?
What?

His personality.
Nice. That's a classic right there, boy.

You got any others?
The Tommy Lee one is my favourite.

This one is mean. Just brutal. What has three legs and an asshole?
Oh, God... what?

A drum stool.
Oh, God. Drummers are usually the nice guys. That one was written by a bitter bass player.

I think bass players are usually the nice guy.
Yeah, but they're bitter. It's not the situation in our band, but bass players get sick of everyone yelling at them all the time, so by the end, they've had it.

With the drummers, you guys are the ones taking the punishment, sweating it out in the back.
We always take the hit. We're the ones who take the dry walling jobs first. We're good people.

You're down-to-earth folks.
We're the Robin Hoods of the band.

Here's a good one. What do you call a beautiful girl on a drummers arm?
(laughing) What?

A tattoo.
Oh, that's terrible. Now my confidence is just out the door. I'm sitting here... I gotta go and play tonight. I feel like I should just pick up a pizza gig out here.

Oh, that reminds me: How do you get a drummer off your lawn?
Pay for the pizza?

Yeah.
That would be Taylor Hawkins if he didn't get the Foo Fighters gig.

Is that what he was doing before he got the gig?
Oh, no. He was ready to become a pizza boy again. If Dave Grohl hadn't called him, he would have been working for a pie company.
 
Wasn't he with Alanis before the Foos?
Yeah, Dave Grohl called him once that was over and was like, "Hey, you wanna be a Foo Fighter?" The answer was pretty quick. "Oh, yeah!"

That's gotta be a tough gig. Following Dave Grohl as the drummer of a band.
Well, yeah. The best drummer in the band is singing. That's tough. Taylor plays on the records because Dave's nice. You know if Dave played on those songs, they'd sound 10 times better. But that's just the way it is.

Hasn't Dave played songs, and they just don't credit him?
Well, on the first few records, he did everything, and then kind of gave it away. Because he's such a musical drummer; you know, no matter what Taylor does, Dave can do it better. That's a tough thing. I don't know what happens in the studio. But if something doesn't feel good, you know Dave is like, "Well, I better get in there!" (Laughs)

Or it could be, you know, you play drums in this band, and when I feel like playing drums, I'll just get some guy from Led Zeppelin to be in a band with me.
I think when they're fighting, the drums are gonna sound awesome.

OK, one last one. Why do bands have a bass player?
Why?

To translate for the drummer. OK, found another. What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
What?

One will mature and make money.
Oh, gosh. That's tough. That hurts. That's real life. Like when you make fun of a guy who doesn't have a trade!

I'm sorry. Now I feel bad.
I'm fine. I practice hard enough, so I don't care.