The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 – March 2010

The Grist 13

1. Canadian Womens Hockey Team Celebrations
If I won a showdown with a mortal enemy after training for four years, I'd do something waaay more ridiculous than have a beer and a cigar in an empty arena.

2. Norwegian Olympic Men's Curling Team's Pants
We've all seen them. We will never forget.

3. Ski Cross And Snowboard Cross Crashes
This sport rules.



4. Rickrolling
Now that it's totally played out it's the perfect time to do it to someone. Like D-Sisive.

5. Birdemic: Shock And Terror
Someone's gonna hafta teach these birds a lesson.



6. Ron Sexsmith's Singing Voice
It sounds like a goose being lightly squeezed.

7. Gravity Wave's "HSGAS"
This stands for "high school girls are sluts." Apparently Gravity Wave went to a high school that was more fun than everyone else's high school.

8. When Animals Maul Humans
With the exception of when it's a vicious dog/stupid owner combo, we're always on the animal's side.

9. Clash Of The Titans
This is pretty obviously capitalizing on every red-blooded male's obsession with the God Of War video game series, but we're totally fine with that.

10. Hipster Puppies
They're so much more tolerable than hipster humans.

11. Emails From An Asshole
This dude is to 2010 what The Jerky Boys were to 1990. Which makes him awesome if you're 12.

12. "Fist Fight In The Parking Lot"
This is clearly the best band Dave Grohl has ever been part of.



13. Lady Gaga's Relationship With The Cure
The overdosing from cocaine part ain't the coolest, but we understand sitting in your room listening to The Cure non-stop.

The Shitty 7

1. Olympics Withdrawl
TV is shit. Strangers have stopped high-fiving me. I've resorted to giving my cat a tinfoil silver medal for "cute flopping." This totally sucks.

2. No More Having To Hear "I Believe"
It's still embarrassing that you had to teach your mom how to use iTunes so she could buy it, but at least the worst is over.

3. Flash Mobs
They're totally uncool and played out, but unlike rickrolling, they shouldn't be reclaimed in the name of semi-ironic fun.

4. Facebook Suicide
All those final notes about how you want to "seek out real human interaction" and blah, blah, blah... stop being so emo. You sound like Holden Caulfied.

5. When Someone Steals Your Comforter
What kind of person does something like that?

6. Giant Earthquakes
Right this very second, someone is trying to figure out how to blame this on terrorism in order to strip away more of your rights.

7. Moving Day
It's never a good time. But moving to a place where there are a billion restaurants is fun.