The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 – February 2010

The Grist 13

1. Arrested Development Film Confirmed
The world had made a horrible mistake. And now it is being fixed.

2. "Serious Business"
Saying of the month. As in, "that guy's eating that muffin like it's serious business." Serious business is serious business. Use it seriously.

3. The Besnard Lakes
Hands up if you can name anyone else making Beach Boy You Black Emperor prog-rock spy hunter concept albums right now.

4. Marvelous Manboobs
Look, you can only get these from steroids or gluttony, so it's OK to have a laugh at their expense.

5. The Cave Of Crystals
This is INSANE! This is totally where Superman's villains are created.



6. Pants On The Ground: The Ultimate Guide
Big beat rap cartoonist Sean Ward explains what the heck a pants on the ground is so that we can all understand it.

7. Valentine's Day Chocolate... After Valentine's Day
Bring on the 50 per cent off clearance sales!

8. Superproducer
Sometimes Gonzales is too smart for his own good.


9. Juggalettes
Making that decision to become a juggalo is like admitting that you're incapable of functioning in normal society. But when you become a juggalette, it's an even bolder decision. Not only are you unplugging from the real world, but you've also made the brave decision that juggalos represent an acceptable breeding pool.

10. Dreaming Of Kittens
Because looking at cute kitties makes the burdens in our lives more bearable, if only for a minute.

11. Conan O'Brien
It's only just now setting in that he's gone. At least we still have Chelsea Handler and Craig Ferguson.

12. Reason #14583 Why The World Is A Screwed Up Place
NASA is now looking to the Mr. Show for ideas on how to proceed in space exploration.

13. Kick The Penguin
You don't actually "kick" the penguin so much as you hammer it the way you would a baby seal. It's a good momentary distraction.

The Shitty 7

1. Eh-O-Canada-Go
If we catch anyone shouting the Pepsi-created home cheer during the Olympics, we're gonna start swinging.

2. iPad-Maxi Pad Jokes
This might be A+ material for grade fivers in the schoolyard, but adults should look elsewhere for their funnies.

3. G-T-L 4 Life
The more we romanticize this Jersey Shore lifestyle, the more power and influence this Confederacy Of Douches ends up with. Fight this power.

4. Green Day's Musical
At first we were kinda amused and into it, but then we watched that appearance at the Grammys. When punk goes Glee, true rebellion is dead.

5. Monopoly Eliminating "Cash" From The 75th Edition Of Game
Why don't you just go ahead and kill some kittens while you're at it.

6. Vancouver
You guys really like to complain about everything, don't you?

7. $200 Tea Pots
Really? If this seems fair and reasonable to you, your priorities in life are all wrong.