The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 — October 2009

10/01/09 3:23pm

The Grist 13

1. Duplex "Dog With A Sweater On"
Boy-meets-girl/boy-loses-girl songs are sooo played out.

2. Cupcakes
Eating four at a time is perfectly acceptable if they're awesome.

3. Fucking Delicious
After reading this, you'll never not fucking eat the shit out of a meal ever again.

4. Ugliest Tattoos
It's mind-boggling what people are willing to do to themselves. Crash Bandicoot with a Confederate flag!

5. "Skankasaurus"
Insult of the month.

6. Hockey Season Begins!
It's about time. There's only so much for a person to do with their free time now that the True Blood season is done. Spoiler: Sookie dies!

7. Downloadable Bonus Content For The Video Game You're Playing
Hello, new Command And Conquer maps!

8. Operation Repo
The best is when they repo'd a car from the LARPers they found in the wilderness.



9. Insanewiches
I used to think it was pretty insane to make peanut butter, banana and brown sugar sandwiches. Apparently my thinking was totally small-time.

10. Neil Patrick Harris
He's turning sucky awards shows into not suck.

11. Glee
We're still not fully on board, owing to any residual High School Musical taint, but we appreciate its subversive qualities.

12. Scribblenauts For Nintendo DS
You can make God fight a beluga whale.

13. Kanye West
We just can't quit you. Never stop speaking your mind, gay fish of our hearts.

The Shitty 7

1. Fall
First we get ripped off of our summer and now you're here being all cold 'n' wet 'n' shit? You bitch. You stupid bitch. Screw you.

2. Getting Coughed On During Swine Flu Season
Let's all band together and establish this social convention: If someone sneezes on you, you're allowed to attack said person and lightly stab them. And all who witness are honour-bound to help hold the sneezer down or at least nod approvingly during said stabbing.

3. Getting Stabbed
That's gotta suck. But hopefully you've learned your lesson about sneezing on people on the bus.

4. Scarlett Johansson's Music Career
You've got big boobs. Good for you. We'd prefer it if you didn't sing, though.

5. Snuggie Mania
Sure, it can get cold in the house. Wearing a sweater would solve that problem right quick.

6. Gay Bashings In London, Ontario
London, you've outed yourself. You're the new Fort McMurray.

7. Twilight/New Moon
WHAT KIND OF FUCKING VAMPIRE CAN GO OUTSIDE IN THE SUN!?!! THIS IS ASD;FOIHEW[09RU-ING STUPID AND AIODHG...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO ANGRREES