The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 — September 2009

09/01/09 1:08pm

The Grist 13

1. Hoarders
This TV show is crazy! These people are crazy! Throw that shit out.

2. Shit My Dad Says
"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that."

3. Joe Fresh Style
It used to be you'd go to The Gap for sensible utility wear. Now you go to Loblaws.

4. Craig Ferguson
Watch a week's worth of his opening monologues. He's spiraling towards insanity and it's spectacular viewing.

5. "Why Don't You Go Listen To Some Ting Tings, Arsehole?"
Insult of the month, found in the comments of a Brooklyn Vegan story about The Charlatans canceling their North American tour.

6. Free Beer Tickets And Giant Sandwiches
Now that's how you treat media.

7. Inglourious Basterds
Best Tarantino movie since Pulp Fiction.

8. Garfield Minus Garfield
"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle."

9. The Beatles Remastered On CD
That's good times for my headphones.

10. The Fellowship Of The Sun
We're against vampirism. It's hip to be alive.

11. Averagecats.com
Sometimes when a cat's sitting in a box it's just sitting in a box.

12. Cable TV Titties
It's a game. Each week you play "Who's going to show their titties — Sookie Stackhouse or Nancy Botwin?" You know one of them will.

13. Faces Of Meth
Most PSAs against drugs are stupid. But this one... whoa... nobody wants to look fucked up like that.

The Shitty 7

1. That U2 Blackberry Ad
Apparently Blackberry loves U2. Well, that's wonderful. What's next? McDonald's loves puppies?

2. iTunes Random Function
I call bullshit. There's no way Nine Inch Nails, Skinny Puppy and Ministry should come up one after the other randomly in a catalogue of 15,000 songs.

3. '90s Band Reunions
Now they're exhuming the corpse of Sublime, too? Nobody wants this besides a few burnout tree planters.

4. When Xbox Gets Bonus Downloadable Content That PS3 Doesn't
You're screwing with us, Sony, and don't think we haven't noticed.

5. Disney Buys Marvel Comics
Apparently in the next Wolverine movie he's getting a spunky talking Chihuahua sidekick.

6. Defrosting The Fridge
It's 2009. Why should I have to do this?

7. The Hadron Collider
Stephen Hawking says it's totally safe, but how can you trust someone who talks like a robot?