Nardwuar Vs. Hilary Duff

Nardwuar: Who are you?
Hilary Duff: Who are you?

I'm Nardwuar The Human Serviette.
Nice!

Hilary Duff, welcome to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada!
Thank you! It's good to be here.

Now in other parts of Canada, you were serving up chicken stew! Tell me about that, the chicken stew!
It was actually turkey.

What was going on there?
Well, we were feeding the homeless. We were at this Hope Mission and it was really fun. We spent about two hours serving lunch.

What were people drinking? Is there Hilary Duff water? I've heard there's Hilary Duff water!
You have? How'd you hear that? I've never heard of that.

Trim Line was going to do some sort of water. Hilary Duff water.
Really? Wow, that would be cool.

What would Hilary Duff water taste like? What does Hilary Duff taste like?
Probably strawberries. Strawberry water! What would your water taste like?

I think it would be something close to cheese. I love cheese. Do you love cheese?
I love cheese too, and I'm not supposed to eat it as I sing, so that's good.

So maybe like Brie-flavoured water?
That would be pretty gross, I think.

Really?
Actually, I would enjoy that. I'm addicted to brie.

Do you have a disease? Are you addicted to cheese?
I am, yes.

One item that has a lot of cheese on it, Hilary Duff, is the McDonald's Happy Meal.
A Happy Meal?

Yes, and you were part of a McDonald's Happy Meal with Lizzie McGuire. What was that like being in a Happy Meal?
I was? I didn't know that, but I'm glad to be a part of a Happy Meal and make some people happy!

Right over here, Hilary Duff, I have something I'd like to ask you about. These gentlemen right here [Nardwuar pulls out a picture], how do they play into the Hilary Duff story? Do you know?
I don't know, no.

Look at them closely, these gentlemen right here, they play into the Hilary Duff story.
They do? How is that?

There was a certain band from Omaha, Nebraska that might have helped inspire your new album!
Really? Hmm.

A band called The Fai—
The Faint!

This is The Faint.
You know what, I couldn't tell you what The Faint look like.

This is what The Faint look like!
Good to know.

Tell me about The Faint, Hilary Duff.
Well, The Faint, I listened to one of their records quite a lot. I never knew what they looked like before, but now I guess I do.

Didn't they do some remixing for you as well?
They did. They remixed the song "Play With Fire," I believe.

So this is what Hilary Duff looks like and this is what The Faint look like.
Yes, don't we look like twins?

Hilary Duff, here we have, and I think this is really interesting; here [Nardwuar pulls out a magazine] we have you, on the cover of…
Shape magazine!

What I find very interesting about this, if you could open it up for a second here to page 74, and we go on your playlist, what do we see there? Are you ashamed to show the photos in Shape?
No, I'm not ashamed at all.

What I think is interesting here is that you have "I love punk." You are saying "I love punk" in Shape magazine.
Is that wrong?

No! That's totally punk! I mean who else would say "I love punk" in Shape magazine? Thank you for spreading the word on punk.
Oh, you're welcome!

So you do love to punk then, don't you Hilary Duff?
I do love some punk music, yes.

So I thought I'd give you a little gift right here. And what we have is a punk rock calendar! This is for you. [Nardwuar gives Hilary a punk rock calendar]
Thank you!

A Nardwuar The Human Serviette versus Bev Davies Punk Rock Calendar. And if you could turn to page one, what do we have here?
You marked the pages for me even. What a gentleman!

Who do we open up to here? Proving that Hilary Duff is a punk, who do we see? What band do we see in the top right?
The Go-Go's!

That's The Go-Go's, and of course the connection is…
That me and my sister redid a Go-Go's song!

Our Lips Are…
Sealed!

Which was produced by…
I wouldn't know.

Wasn't the guy from Goldfinger helping out with that? John Feldmann, didn't he help out with that stuff?
Oh, you mean my version? I thought you meant their version.

No, your version!
Oh yeah, of course. John Feldmann helped out with that.

And he was in a ska band called Goldfinger. But speaking of ska, we have The Specials. [Nardwuar shows Hilary a Specials record] Have you heard of The Specials?
I have not.

Believe it or not, Terry Hall from The Specials co-wrote "Our Lips Are Sealed" that you, Hilary Duff, cover.
You are a music genius. You know so much!

Well thank you for helping spread the word Hilary Duff, but it continues on. The punkness of Hilary Duff, check this out here. Turn to page two of the Punk Rock Calendar, you can drop that right there, just drop The Specials, Hilary Duff.
Throwing The Specials on the ground.

What have we come across here? Who do we have here? A picture of Duff McKagan by Bev Davies! This is when he was 16 years old playing drums for The Fastbacks, and then later joined Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver, and his name is Duff.
Nice, look at that connection!

So I was thinking about Double Duff, a band? Hilary Duff and Duff McKagan, together!
I'm sure he would be really excited about that.

[Pointing to picture of Duff in the Punk Rock Calendar] But this was when he was 16. This is like how you were rocking when you were 16 because you're all of 19 now.
Yes, I am.

So this is him. This is your soulmate. Double Duff.
Awesome!

Hilary Duff, winding up here, I would like to ask you about this particular thing which I find very interesting. I found this little picture of you. [Nardwuar shows a picture] This is a picture of you in Winnipeg.
Yes.

Do you like convenience stores?
Oh, you know what, it's one of the biggest highlights of our road trip, yeah.

This description of you, now here's Hilary Duff, and that's Hilary Duff isn't it?
Yes.

And right here, I love this little close-up and what it says is "The Duffster was recently spotted in Winnipeg buying a variety of binging foods including a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, candy bar, potato chips and other after-alcohol treats."
Alcohol? I don't see any alcohol there.

I thought that was pretty funny. They're trying to nail you for eating chocolate. Are you one of the few Hollywood stars that gets in trouble for eating chocolate?
I don't get in trouble. I love chocolate, but that's actually peanut butter.

But Reese's Peanut Butter? Isn't there chocolate mixed in there?
Umm, I don't think so, the coating is just a candy coating, but there's peanut butter inside. I'm kind of a genius on these because I love them. It's peanut
butter and that was actually for Ryan, who's my security guard.

Where is he? Can we point him out here?
Where's Ryan at?

Where's your security? Bring the security!
I was busting him for wanting a king size instead of a regular size.

Winding up here Hilary Duff, what's wrong with techno? You don't like techno music too much.
No, you know what, that was actually a rumour that someone said I didn't like techno. I'm not a huge fan because I don't know much of it, so I can't say I don't like it.

I was just wondering because Eminem hates techno and Eminem has mentioned you in a song, hasn't he?
Look at you! You are just the king of connecting things, aren't you?

Hilary Duff, what did he say "Hilary Duff is not quite old…"
Umm, "enough?"

Enough! Well, thank you so much Hilary Duff, really appreciate you speaking to me, Nardwuar The Human Serviette and schooling the kids on the punk rock connections of Hilary Duff. Lastly here, Hilary Duff, I want to ask you, will you ever take any fashion advice from Mr. Cojo [Steven Cojocaru] at all again?
Oh, um.

You had an argument with him, didn't you? Who is Mr. Cojo, and would you ever fight with him? He's a Canadian, that's why I thought I would ask that.
Oh, Cojo is a Canadian?

Originally from Canada.
Oh really? He's not living here anymore, huh? How do you guys feel about that?

He's fighting with Hilary Duff.
No, he's not. We're fine. I don't know if I'd take fashion advice from him, though.

Hilary Duff Security: Times up!

Well, thanks so much Hilary Duff. Here we go, here's your last little present — the Punk Rock Calendar. That's free. You can keep the Punk Rock Calendar and put The Go-Go's on your wall, and you're going to be contacting Duff McKagan
as well.
I will. I promise.

Maybe not the best goodie bag you've ever gotten. What's the best goodie bag you've ever got?
You know what, I'd say this comes pretty close.

Alright, well thanks so much Hilary Duff. Keep on rocking in the free world and doot doola doot doo...
Doot doo!