White Cowbell: Cure For Swine Flu

05/26/09 3:39pm

by Scott Bryson (CHARTattack)

White Cowbell Oklahoma's stage shows are booze-fueled punch-ups, replete with strippers, costumed villains, giant penises and cosmic ejaculate. But behind all the smoke and mirrors, the Toronto band just want to be taken seriously.

Guitarist/vocalist Clem C. Clemsen hopes the band's recently released third album, Bombardero, will be the one that finally convinces hometown fans that the music is more important than the spectacle.

Clemsen talked to CHARTattack about the new disc, the recent departure of frontman The Sergeant, and the sextet's plans for world enslavement.

CHARTattack: I see you're continuing with the Spanish-sounding titles.
Clemsen: We did the math, and it seems like there are a lot more people that speak Spanish in the world than otherwise. The first people that bootleg our albums are always Spanish. If you dig deep, you can even find a Portuguese stream of this record.

It comes from a proud tradition started by ZZ Top. And there was already a Motorhead album called Bomber, which is the literal translation of Bombardero. And thus we have Bombardero, the masterpiece it is.

It has been said that this album is more serious than your last two — less songs about blowjobs and more about taking acid in the desert. Would you say that's accurate?
Yes and no. I think our previous albums were misunderstood. The title track of [2005's] Cencerro Blanco was exactly about taking acid in the desert. OK, it's more about taking peyote.

There are less songs about blowjobs, but we've carried on the theme from the last songs about handjobs. The last album [2007's Casa Diablo] had a song called "She's Got My Love In Her Hand." This album has a song called "Happy Ending."

Do you think that because of your elaborate and smutty live show, people haven't been taking the music seriously?
Only in Toronto. We have a fan base in Europe, across Canada and in other countries, many of whom have never seen the band. The first time we went to play one of those enormo-festivals in Holland, people were singing the lyrics, which really freaked us out. There were 40,000 people that went and they were singing the lyrics because the album had been released.

I think in Toronto, people are embarrassed to equate a bombastic show with good music. Our music is very '70s-centric, hence we look to bands like Alice Cooper, who made great records, but you'd be really mad if you went to see Alice Cooper and it wasn't a big show.

I know The Sarge departed part way through the recording of this album. One man doesn't make a band, but were there any thoughts about ending it after he left?
We weighed our options. We consulted the tea leaves and the Druids and we rolled the bones and we got drunk... There were some thoughts about that kind of stuff, but we'd already put a major investment of our spirits and karma into this Bombardero. The Sarge has gone on to bigger and better things with his submarine rental business.

Any other bullshit you want to tell us?
I think that thy heathens out there — perhaps even the naysayers — should take a breath and perhaps listen to Bombardero with fresh ears and realize that, yes, we are coming like the six-headed hydra, very soon, to your town.

You will soon realize what you've really known all along: that White Cowbell Oklahoma is the unstoppable beast that it is, and no matter what you do, you will come to the show and you will absolutely fall under our quite sinister spell. You will purchase our albums and realize they are the masterpieces that they are.

At that point, you will be our serfs and slaves and you will do our bidding and you will love it. You will do it willingly. That's really what we got into this business for: world enslavement of the rock 'n' roll masses.

Also, the only protection from swine flu is a healthy inoculation of White Cowbell Oklahoma serum. You can roll around in yours and other people's filth for days after that.