Lily Allen Loves Obi-Wan Kenobi

04/17/09 3:21pm

by Christine Estima (CHARTattack)

Lily Allen, London's princess of chav pop, the exhibitionist prima donna who's constant paparazzi prey, is well-known for being opinionated, mouthy and telling it like it is.

Allen's 2006 Alright, Still debut was boosted from her MySpace hype (she still blogs regularly about everything from her breakfast to who she'd vote out on X-Factor), and the hugely infectious single "Smile" catapulted this little lass in Nike high tops and gold hoop earrings to stardom.

With the recent release of her sophomore album, It's Not Me, It's You, I sat down with Allen in a trendy London brasserie to test her flapping gum and foot-in-mouth disease firsthand. She had to answer the first thing that came to her mind and be as quick with responses as possible, and Allen's mouthiness revealed her affinity for crisps (what we uncultured Canadians would call potato chips), punching out drunken louts, U.S. President Barack Obama and the cosmic powers of her "nubbin."

CHARTattack: Favourite Star Wars character?
Lily Allen: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

If you were an ice cream flavour, you'd be...
Pistachio.

Astrology: bogus or uber-cool?
Bogus.

Nuclear holocaust or zombie apocalypse?
Nuclear holocaust.

Cat fight or hillbilly throwdown?
These are really American-centric questions!

What's worse, choking on your own puke or dying in a plane crash?
Choking on your own puke.

Favourite song by The Clash?
"(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais."

Is it better to burn out and fade away, or go down screaming in a bloody fireball?
Burn out.

Louis Armstrong said it was a wonderful world: strongly agree, or was he high as a kite?
Aww, no, I agree!

What do you eat before a concert?
Crisps.

What do you eat after a concert?
Crisps.

Who's worse: Janis Joplin or Jim Morrison?
Worse? That's really hard. They're both brilliant!

When I think of Toronto, I think of...
The CN Tower!

You actually know the name of it! Impressive. The earth explodes at midnight tonight. How do you spend the rest of your day?
Finding someone to have sex with!

Nominate someone for douchebag of the year.
Me!

You're on death row. What's your final meal?
Roast chicken, roast potatoes... actually, roast beef with all the trimmings, Yorkshire pudding, horseradish...

Favourite football club?
Fulham.

What's the fastest time it's taken you to reduce someone to tears?
I hit someone in the face last night and he cried. He was so drunk and being rude. He sat down at this table and was being really, really horrible. So I said, "Can you just go away because you're being really annoying?" And he went "Fuck you!" So I went, "Thanks for saying that!" and BOOM, punched him. That would have been about 15 seconds then. He was so drunk he didn't even know what happened. His eyes were watering.

Chanel or New Look?
Chanel.

What's your favourite post-coitus snack?
I don't know what that means.

It means after-sex.
Oh. Crisps.

Best hangover remedy?
Sex.

Best lie you've ever told?
I love you!

Embarrassing song you secretly love?
"Angels" by Robbie Williams.

Best place to party?
My house!

Uncircumsized or circumsized?
Un!

How do you react if or when you are heckled during a concert?
It's never happened. It's something I live in fear about, though. Right when I'm about to get introduced on the stage, I don't let people say, "Ladies and gentlemen, Lily Allen" because I'm so scared of people booing. I don't let anyone introduce me. I just walk straight on stage.

Adele or Duffy?
Adele.

Scrunchy or hair weave?
Weave!

Dry kiss or wet kiss?
Wet kiss.

Who's album is better, yours or Mark Ronson's?
Mine!

Foreign country you admire the most?
France.

Foreign leader you admire the most?
Barack Obama.

Foreign hot spot you admire the most?
Hot spot? What does that mean? Like a cool place? Jamaica!

When a future culture digs up the time capsule of our time, what will they find?
Lily Allen's It's Not Me, It's You.

If there's a beer named after you one day, what would you call it?
Drunk! No, hold on... Alright, Still. There you go. And it won't be fizzy!

Is your third nipple the source of all your powers?
Maybe. Perhaps. Quite a bit of powerful people have them!