The Grist 13 And Shitty 7 — April 2009

04/01/09 3:00pm

The Grist 13

1. Figuring Out The "Hide" Function On Facebook Updates
We hid one former CHARTattack contributor who was literally posting every two minutes with their analysis of why social media was so awesome. zzzzZZZZZZzzzz.

2. Lady GaGa's Hot Pant Empowerment
Your ass is a gift to pop culture. Thanks for sharing it — with everyone.

3. Nasal Irrigation
We don't want to say too much about it because it's kind of gross. But it works oh so well, which is awesome.

4. SXSW Eating Challenges
The meat-eaters are now out-challenge-bidding the vegetarians because they're worried about what would happen if news editor Steve McLean spent a week consuming only white bread, onions and free beer.

5. Norm MacDonald YouTube Videos
Lose yourself in his brilliance here.

6. Free Swiss Chalet Coupons
Quarter-chicken dinner, consider yourself on notice.

7. The ChartAttack Hack Hockey Club
We'll be all over the 11th Annual Hockey Summit Of The Arts from April 10 to 12 at Toronto's York University. You should come out and back The Hack. Check our blog for updates.

8. "Krej"
Insult of the month, beating out "snollygoster" and "slippy tit."

9. Toronto Maple Leafs Being Out Of The Playoffs
Each year away just makes our eventual return that much more special.

10. Scanwiches.com
Caution. Don't look at this while hungry.

11. Neil Young's Archive Vol. 1 About To Be Released
Finally! Now, if someone will just give us $300 to buy it...

12. The Veils' "It Hits Deeper"
Some more gloomy music from these gloomy gloomsters. Fun!

13. When Your In-Laws Give You All Their Roll Up The Rim Wins
Mmm, bring on the hot chocolate.

The Shitty 7

1. Chris Cornell, Dance Music Superstar
We'll be making punchlines out of this for years.

2. Porktopia.com
Pork is at least 15 per cent less awesome when your girlfriend reminds you that pigs have the intelligence of three-year-old kids every time you eat bacon.

3. Kanye West No Longer Posting In ALL CAPS
How can he be the voice of a generation if he speaks with less authority?

4. Cellphone Cameras Desensitizing Us To Scandal
It used to be exciting to see a drunk starlet's underpants. Now it's just "meh."

5. Tendonitis
You try writing a dozen stories a day when your arm's stuck in a crazy brace because of the crippling pain you're in.

6. Taxes
At least there's that GST cheque after it's all worked out.

7. Getting Drunk And Wetting The Bed
It has been implied this happened to a CHARTattack staffer post-Juno Award Drinking Game. Seriously, though, in the post-Jackass age, is it really that big of a deal?